Re: Momma

Dear Momma,
We went down to the Copenhagen temple with the ward on Friday. I'm really glad you and I were able to go together, in a way. That was really nice. It did help my spirit feel rested and fed. It's the most peaceful I've felt for a long time. I don fell like it lifted me up a little bit. Them we walked all over Copenhagen for the afternoon. I showed Sister V The Kristus and the Little Mermaid. We ate at KFC, and it was heavenly it have real American food (even if they did charge us for the ketchup). I think we walked a hundred blocks down there (and ran between 10 and 15 because were were late getting back to the group). Not kidding. I counted them on the map afterward. I'm so sore and stiff, and Sister V's got huge blisters. Speaking of soreness - we had apartment inspections last week, and when the couple saw that I was sleeping on a box spring (yes, I've been sleeping on a box spring for the last 5 months), they decided that just wouldn't do. So they got me a little pad to put on top of it. I'm actually surprised at how much better it feels now. I think I've slept a little better with it.
How're things going there? I'm getting along. We had a conversation with a member last week that gave me some food for thought. She was talking about how important it is that we don't just know truths, but that we feel them. She said it's not enough to have an intellectual testimony. Without feeling our testimonies in our hearts, we don't want to share it with others, and we don't really have anything to give. And I realized that, whether she knew it or not, she was talking about me. I finally understood what's been wrong with me. We all know that before my mission, I was a pure, undiluted bundle of emotions running wild. Highs, lows, and everything in between; I wore it all out on my sleeve for the world to see. I think my emotions started dying last December, and it's been a slow process. When I got the news that Casey had died, I was told I would go back to work the next day, and I should just do the work and do my best to act like nothing was wrong. "It's best that no one knows about this," he said. I've been hiding what I think and feel ever since. "You and your companion are a team. You have to work together an make everyone believe you get along, even though you hate each other. It's not about you, so on one should know you're having a bad day. You can't be upset because everyone who sees you has to see how happy the gospel makes you. You don't have time to be upset anyway. That's just going to have to wait until next year, along with everything you care about..." Nate's been telling me all year not to bottle up my emotions. I wish it could've been easier advice to follow. This just wasn't the time and place to let them show. Now I don't feel much at all, except the negative that's built up for long. The feelings are gone, and my testimony's going with them. I'm trying to get it back. I'm doing my best to pray for it and study, nut I don't know how to make myself feel. I guess it's going to take some time. In the mean time, I'm just trying my best to do what I'm told. Do the work. Make the time go faster. Resist the negative thoughts. I gave a talk yesterday in church, based off of Elder Holland's talk "The Peaceable Things of the Kingdom." (It's a very good talk.) I really am looking for peace and help. I'm doing my best.
I'm glad you can see from Lyle's experience that getting revenge won't make anything even. It won't really help. God's the only one who can really make things fair, and He will.
I don't want to wait a week after I'm home to get released. I don't want to have a babysitter, and I don't want to feel guilty about listening to music or talking to friends online or watching movies or whatever. And, yes, go ahead and make appointment. That place that Stephen Mallow said was going to be a problem before I left has gotten pretty bad, and I've got other bad spots too. Can we just pull out all my teeth and get pretty new ones screwed in instead?
Coat size... No idea. I'm a dress size 6, I think. Sometimes an 8, depending on the dress. You know they vary a little. Are coats the same? You also asked about length a while ago. Between the hips and the knees somewhere. I just want it to cover my bum.
One last thing, yesterday was Swedish Father's Day, so tell Rich "Grattis Fars Gag!" for me. Also tell him I said "Jag alskar dig jattemycket!" (That means "Happy Father's Day!" and "I love you very much!") Jag alskar dig oksa, Mamma. :) Have a great week.

Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser