Dear Momma,
We went down to the Copenhagen temple with the ward on Friday. I'm really glad you and I were able to go together, in a way. That was really nice. It did help my spirit feel rested and fed. It's the most peaceful I've felt for a long time. I don fell like it lifted me up a little bit. Them we walked all over Copenhagen for the afternoon. I showed Sister V The Kristus and the Little Mermaid. We ate at KFC, and it was heavenly it have real American food (even if they did charge us for the ketchup). I think we walked a hundred blocks down there (and ran between 10 and 15 because were were late getting back to the group). Not kidding. I counted them on the map afterward. I'm so sore and stiff, and Sister V's got huge blisters. Speaking of soreness - we had apartment inspections last week, and when the couple saw that I was sleeping on a box spring (yes, I've been sleeping on a box spring for the last 5 months), they decided that just wouldn't do. So they got me a little pad to put on top of it. I'm actually surprised at how much better it feels now. I think I've slept a little better with it.
How're things going there? I'm getting along. We had a conversation with a member last week that gave me some food for thought. She was talking about how important it is that we don't just know truths, but that we feel them. She said it's not enough to have an intellectual testimony. Without feeling our testimonies in our hearts, we don't want to share it with others, and we don't really have anything to give. And I realized that, whether she knew it or not, she was talking about me. I finally understood what's been wrong with me. We all know that before my mission, I was a pure, undiluted bundle of emotions running wild. Highs, lows, and everything in between; I wore it all out on my sleeve for the world to see. I think my emotions started dying last December, and it's been a slow process. When I got the news that Casey had died, I was told I would go back to work the next day, and I should just do the work and do my best to act like nothing was wrong. "It's best that no one knows about this," he said. I've been hiding what I think and feel ever since. "You and your companion are a team. You have to work together an make everyone believe you get along, even though you hate each other. It's not about you, so on one should know you're having a bad day. You can't be upset because everyone who sees you has to see how happy the gospel makes you. You don't have time to be upset anyway. That's just going to have to wait until next year, along with everything you care about..." Nate's been telling me all year not to bottle up my emotions. I wish it could've been easier advice to follow. This just wasn't the time and place to let them show. Now I don't feel much at all, except the negative that's built up for long. The feelings are gone, and my testimony's going with them. I'm trying to get it back. I'm doing my best to pray for it and study, nut I don't know how to make myself feel. I guess it's going to take some time. In the mean time, I'm just trying my best to do what I'm told. Do the work. Make the time go faster. Resist the negative thoughts. I gave a talk yesterday in church, based off of Elder Holland's talk "The Peaceable Things of the Kingdom." (It's a very good talk.) I really am looking for peace and help. I'm doing my best.
I'm glad you can see from Lyle's experience that getting revenge won't make anything even. It won't really help. God's the only one who can really make things fair, and He will.
I don't want to wait a week after I'm home to get released. I don't want to have a babysitter, and I don't want to feel guilty about listening to music or talking to friends online or watching movies or whatever. And, yes, go ahead and make appointment. That place that Stephen Mallow said was going to be a problem before I left has gotten pretty bad, and I've got other bad spots too. Can we just pull out all my teeth and get pretty new ones screwed in instead?
Coat size... No idea. I'm a dress size 6, I think. Sometimes an 8, depending on the dress. You know they vary a little. Are coats the same? You also asked about length a while ago. Between the hips and the knees somewhere. I just want it to cover my bum.
One last thing, yesterday was Swedish Father's Day, so tell Rich "Grattis Fars Gag!" for me. Also tell him I said "Jag alskar dig jattemycket!" (That means "Happy Father's Day!" and "I love you very much!") Jag alskar dig oksa, Mamma. :) Have a great week.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
Well, if I had been allowed to come home as I requested, I would be flying home this week. I'm trying to think that nine more weeks will be over soon. I've had a few other requests denied this week. I asked the travel office to fly me into Charlottesville, VA instead of DC when I go home. That flopped. I'm still flying into DC on the 12th of January, and I'll get there just in time to hit rush-hour traffic, so we should be on the road for several hours getting home, then several more getting down to President Carter. I'm going to bite Amanda Jeffrey (the travel office worker I spoke with) if I ever meet her.
I talked to mission president's wife about some of the things that have been bothering me physically. She told me to go see a dentist and go get the spot on my back checked at a health clinic (she said it's better to know that it's nothing than wonder). Mission finances don't cover dental stuff, so I guess that's really up to you. I did go to a health clinic about the spot. Before they'd let me set up an appointment or anything, they had a nurse take a look at the spot. She looked at it for about 3 seconds, then said 'Don't worry about it. You've got lots of other moles.' To which I said, 'I know, but that one looks different.' Her response: 'Yes, well... It's nothing. By the way have it checked when you're back in the United States.' ........I hate socialist healthcare. Just so you know, if I die of untreated melanoma, you'll want to sue a nurse named Justina, who works in Viktoria Kliniken in Halmstad.
I've been feeling a little cranky this morning. Okay, I've been feeling cranky for most of my life, but I have just been especially down lately. I'm just tired and homesick, and my companion irritates the crap out of me. She just skips around singing about sunshine and yammering about how wonderful and 'meant to be' everything is. It just makes me want to throw a big stick in front of her bike and watch her go flying or pour paint in her hair when we're doing service projects. I know. I'm a jerk. I do appreciate your uplifting thoughts. Keep sending them, as much as you can. I need them.
I can tell you about one positive thing that happened this week. We had All Saints Day. Swedes (and maybe Europeans too, I don't know) have the most wonderful tradition - they go out to the cemeteries on All Saints Day and light candles on the graves of their loved ones. It's the most beautiful thing, and Halmstad happens to have the prettiest cemetery I've ever been in. We spent about an hour just walking around the cemetery, looking at the candles. It was very soothing. It felt like I was sharing a few moments with Casey. I'm glad his stone has finally come and that it looks so nice.
My companion wants to go now, so I need to get off. I love you bunches, Mom. I hope you have a great week. I'll be praying hard, and I hope you'll be doing the same. I love you.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Well, if I had been allowed to come home as I requested, I would be flying home this week. I'm trying to think that nine more weeks will be over soon. I've had a few other requests denied this week. I asked the travel office to fly me into Charlottesville, VA instead of DC when I go home. That flopped. I'm still flying into DC on the 12th of January, and I'll get there just in time to hit rush-hour traffic, so we should be on the road for several hours getting home, then several more getting down to President Carter. I'm going to bite Amanda Jeffrey (the travel office worker I spoke with) if I ever meet her.
I talked to mission president's wife about some of the things that have been bothering me physically. She told me to go see a dentist and go get the spot on my back checked at a health clinic (she said it's better to know that it's nothing than wonder). Mission finances don't cover dental stuff, so I guess that's really up to you. I did go to a health clinic about the spot. Before they'd let me set up an appointment or anything, they had a nurse take a look at the spot. She looked at it for about 3 seconds, then said 'Don't worry about it. You've got lots of other moles.' To which I said, 'I know, but that one looks different.' Her response: 'Yes, well... It's nothing. By the way have it checked when you're back in the United States.' ........I hate socialist healthcare. Just so you know, if I die of untreated melanoma, you'll want to sue a nurse named Justina, who works in Viktoria Kliniken in Halmstad.
I've been feeling a little cranky this morning. Okay, I've been feeling cranky for most of my life, but I have just been especially down lately. I'm just tired and homesick, and my companion irritates the crap out of me. She just skips around singing about sunshine and yammering about how wonderful and 'meant to be' everything is. It just makes me want to throw a big stick in front of her bike and watch her go flying or pour paint in her hair when we're doing service projects. I know. I'm a jerk. I do appreciate your uplifting thoughts. Keep sending them, as much as you can. I need them.
I can tell you about one positive thing that happened this week. We had All Saints Day. Swedes (and maybe Europeans too, I don't know) have the most wonderful tradition - they go out to the cemeteries on All Saints Day and light candles on the graves of their loved ones. It's the most beautiful thing, and Halmstad happens to have the prettiest cemetery I've ever been in. We spent about an hour just walking around the cemetery, looking at the candles. It was very soothing. It felt like I was sharing a few moments with Casey. I'm glad his stone has finally come and that it looks so nice.
My companion wants to go now, so I need to get off. I love you bunches, Mom. I hope you have a great week. I'll be praying hard, and I hope you'll be doing the same. I love you.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
Happy Halloween!
Thanks for sending me some good news. I really appreciate it. Pass on my congratulations to Chynna and Zachary. We really do have such a talented family. I'm glad my mission had done something good for you and the rest of the family. It's just been hard to see that sometimes. I think stress is a trigger for depression for me. I'm trying not to be so down. Nate said all he wanted for his birthday was for me to be happy. (His birthday is on Saturday.) It's really been a tough couple of months here as far as missionary work goes. I've been getting cranky and you know I'm ready to come home. I've been a missionary long enough. Now I just want to hug some babies and listen to music. Doesn't help that I'm just plain sick too. I've been fighting with a cold for over a week, and I'm pretty much aching all over. All the ward members are trying to bully me into staying home in bed, but we've just got too much to do for that. (I did did sleep in a few hours this morning,though and that seems to have helped for now.) These last two weeks, we've gone hiking and seen some benches. We've also been painting apartments, cleaning houses, washing windows, stacking wood, decorating for parties... It feels really nice to be doing active work. Stacking wood's a lot more fun than beating investigators over the head with scriptures. ...Hmm, maybe I should just beat them with wood instead. ;-) All the service projects have been helping me feel better.
We're going to Stockholm for a training meeting tomorrow, and we'll be there until Wednesday. We'll be going to the Copenhagen Temple with the ward on the 12th as well, so we'll be at the temple together. And yes, as far as I know, I am still flying home on January 12th. I'm going to talk to the secretaries about my travel plans, though. I want to ask them to change my flight plans so that I'll come into Charlottesville instead of DC. That's just way more time in the car than I need, and it would be much nicer to be released right away.
My companion wants to go shopping, and I've got a little Christmas list together, and some of the things on it are on sale, so I'm thinking we'll head out and do that today. My checking account's pretty much empty, so I'm thinking I'll put it on credit card, and then just pay if off with the Christmas money you'll be sending later. (Or you could just pay it off and never mind sending me Christmas money.) I have a payment due on the credit card soon. (There's about $100 sitting on it at the moment.)
One last thing - could you pass on my love to Jeremiah? Let him know that I'm very proud of him. I think I know better than anyone else in the family how hard missionary work is, and he's done a fantastic job with it. He's done so much good for the people in his mission, and he's done the right thing between himself and the Lord too. I think he's very brave, and I'm proud of him. I hope he plans and prepares to go back and finish the work he started, but even if he doesn't, he can proudly say that he's served a fantastic mission. I thinks he's done wonderfully and I know the Lord does too. (You can share those thoughts with anyone else in the family who might need to hear them too.)
I love you, Momma. I hope you have a great week, and I'm going to try my best to do the same.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Happy Halloween!
Thanks for sending me some good news. I really appreciate it. Pass on my congratulations to Chynna and Zachary. We really do have such a talented family. I'm glad my mission had done something good for you and the rest of the family. It's just been hard to see that sometimes. I think stress is a trigger for depression for me. I'm trying not to be so down. Nate said all he wanted for his birthday was for me to be happy. (His birthday is on Saturday.) It's really been a tough couple of months here as far as missionary work goes. I've been getting cranky and you know I'm ready to come home. I've been a missionary long enough. Now I just want to hug some babies and listen to music. Doesn't help that I'm just plain sick too. I've been fighting with a cold for over a week, and I'm pretty much aching all over. All the ward members are trying to bully me into staying home in bed, but we've just got too much to do for that. (I did did sleep in a few hours this morning,though and that seems to have helped for now.) These last two weeks, we've gone hiking and seen some benches. We've also been painting apartments, cleaning houses, washing windows, stacking wood, decorating for parties... It feels really nice to be doing active work. Stacking wood's a lot more fun than beating investigators over the head with scriptures. ...Hmm, maybe I should just beat them with wood instead. ;-) All the service projects have been helping me feel better.
We're going to Stockholm for a training meeting tomorrow, and we'll be there until Wednesday. We'll be going to the Copenhagen Temple with the ward on the 12th as well, so we'll be at the temple together. And yes, as far as I know, I am still flying home on January 12th. I'm going to talk to the secretaries about my travel plans, though. I want to ask them to change my flight plans so that I'll come into Charlottesville instead of DC. That's just way more time in the car than I need, and it would be much nicer to be released right away.
My companion wants to go shopping, and I've got a little Christmas list together, and some of the things on it are on sale, so I'm thinking we'll head out and do that today. My checking account's pretty much empty, so I'm thinking I'll put it on credit card, and then just pay if off with the Christmas money you'll be sending later. (Or you could just pay it off and never mind sending me Christmas money.) I have a payment due on the credit card soon. (There's about $100 sitting on it at the moment.)
One last thing - could you pass on my love to Jeremiah? Let him know that I'm very proud of him. I think I know better than anyone else in the family how hard missionary work is, and he's done a fantastic job with it. He's done so much good for the people in his mission, and he's done the right thing between himself and the Lord too. I think he's very brave, and I'm proud of him. I hope he plans and prepares to go back and finish the work he started, but even if he doesn't, he can proudly say that he's served a fantastic mission. I thinks he's done wonderfully and I know the Lord does too. (You can share those thoughts with anyone else in the family who might need to hear them too.)
I love you, Momma. I hope you have a great week, and I'm going to try my best to do the same.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
I'm here pretty early today, so I don't think we'll get to chat. Sorry. The elders in our zone have put together another activity for today. Apparently there's some kind of Dr. Seuss park down in Malmo they want us all to come see. Last Monday we went for a hike and played around on a really cool, strange beach. It's hard to describe. There's a huge driftwood fort thing that some guy just started putting together a piece at a time like 20 years ago, and he's still adding to it. My companion says it's like something from The Goonies, but I only saw it once and don't remember a lot.
As for me being so upset lately... The mission is the most stressful thing I've ever done in my life, and it feels like I've had nothing but constant bad news from home ever since it started. All I've hoped would come from my missionary service was that my family would be blessed for it, but no matter what I've tried to do for the Lord, it seems like no one at home wants to be happy. I just can't take anymore bad news or conflict. I'm exhausted. I've been whipped to death by this work. Every hour and minute of my day, I'm driven by the clock and a rule book that's impossible to live up to. I can't slow down, I can't stop, and I have nothing left to give. My right eye twitched for three weeks straight until I melted down last week, cried for 3 days and then slept for a few extra hours. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't play I don't sing I don't create or imagine. There's no time for that. I'm trapped with no control over my own life, and I'm losing control of myself. I've had melt downs and temper flares for weeks now, and no one's listening to me when I say I'm not okay.
Nate finally figured it out last week, and he's trying to do everything he can to help me calm down. Whatever he says or asks of you, he's trying to help me. he's trying to take whatever he can off my shoulders and off my mind because I just can't deal with anything right now.
I have been starting to feel a little calmer each day this week. I don't know if it was just that I needed to cry it out or get more sleep or Nate's letters, or if I'm just too tired to care anymore. We'll see if it lasts or not.
I think I'm getting sick. I woke up this morning with my throat on fire, and I'm loaded up on drugs now. I'm not convinced that I won't throw up before the morning's over. No, I don't think I need any medicine. I should have plenty. I did get the pills. Thank you very much. And the beef jerky's already gone. ;-) I've looked around here this week and found a few things for my Christmas list. I wonder if you could send about $200 (my bank account's low now) for me to have a little shopping spree and maybe some extra so I can bring some gifts home for everyone else?
Momma, I do hope you have a good week. Maybe you could do something to help us both feel better now. Could you look for something happy to tell me about each day and send them to me in little messages throughout the week? I love you very much, Momma. And I want you to be happy. Give my love to Rich and Keira. (And let Rich know I did appreciate he email last week. I wish he and I would talk more. I just haven't hat time to respond to everyone's emails these last few weeks.)
Love you!
Syster Hillary Kiser
I'm here pretty early today, so I don't think we'll get to chat. Sorry. The elders in our zone have put together another activity for today. Apparently there's some kind of Dr. Seuss park down in Malmo they want us all to come see. Last Monday we went for a hike and played around on a really cool, strange beach. It's hard to describe. There's a huge driftwood fort thing that some guy just started putting together a piece at a time like 20 years ago, and he's still adding to it. My companion says it's like something from The Goonies, but I only saw it once and don't remember a lot.
As for me being so upset lately... The mission is the most stressful thing I've ever done in my life, and it feels like I've had nothing but constant bad news from home ever since it started. All I've hoped would come from my missionary service was that my family would be blessed for it, but no matter what I've tried to do for the Lord, it seems like no one at home wants to be happy. I just can't take anymore bad news or conflict. I'm exhausted. I've been whipped to death by this work. Every hour and minute of my day, I'm driven by the clock and a rule book that's impossible to live up to. I can't slow down, I can't stop, and I have nothing left to give. My right eye twitched for three weeks straight until I melted down last week, cried for 3 days and then slept for a few extra hours. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't play I don't sing I don't create or imagine. There's no time for that. I'm trapped with no control over my own life, and I'm losing control of myself. I've had melt downs and temper flares for weeks now, and no one's listening to me when I say I'm not okay.
Nate finally figured it out last week, and he's trying to do everything he can to help me calm down. Whatever he says or asks of you, he's trying to help me. he's trying to take whatever he can off my shoulders and off my mind because I just can't deal with anything right now.
I have been starting to feel a little calmer each day this week. I don't know if it was just that I needed to cry it out or get more sleep or Nate's letters, or if I'm just too tired to care anymore. We'll see if it lasts or not.
I think I'm getting sick. I woke up this morning with my throat on fire, and I'm loaded up on drugs now. I'm not convinced that I won't throw up before the morning's over. No, I don't think I need any medicine. I should have plenty. I did get the pills. Thank you very much. And the beef jerky's already gone. ;-) I've looked around here this week and found a few things for my Christmas list. I wonder if you could send about $200 (my bank account's low now) for me to have a little shopping spree and maybe some extra so I can bring some gifts home for everyone else?
Momma, I do hope you have a good week. Maybe you could do something to help us both feel better now. Could you look for something happy to tell me about each day and send them to me in little messages throughout the week? I love you very much, Momma. And I want you to be happy. Give my love to Rich and Keira. (And let Rich know I did appreciate he email last week. I wish he and I would talk more. I just haven't hat time to respond to everyone's emails these last few weeks.)
Love you!
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Well Momma,
My inbox is flooded this morning. I've got about ten emails to go through from you and everyone else at home, and I only have a few minutes before I have to catch a train. I hope I can come back to this later this evening.
I've been so emotional all week. Angry and frustrated and sad and lonely and I've just cried so much... We had zone conference on Friday. I spent about an hour in an interview with President Newell just talking about how I'm feeling. I do think the blessing he gave me helped me calm down a bit. My new companion was a guidance counselor before she came on a mission. I guess I'm her new project. Half the time, I thinks it's a good thing that she wants to help me cheer up and destress and all that, and the other half, she's spouting out these chipper little motivational one-liners that make me want to bite her.
I hope I can come back and write more later. I only got a few lines off to Nate and now you (you both got pretty much the same few lines too). There's still Rich, Dad, the mission president, Jeremiah, I've got so much more to say to you and Nate... If I can't get back to write more, let's just suffice it to say I love you. The most.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
My inbox is flooded this morning. I've got about ten emails to go through from you and everyone else at home, and I only have a few minutes before I have to catch a train. I hope I can come back to this later this evening.
I've been so emotional all week. Angry and frustrated and sad and lonely and I've just cried so much... We had zone conference on Friday. I spent about an hour in an interview with President Newell just talking about how I'm feeling. I do think the blessing he gave me helped me calm down a bit. My new companion was a guidance counselor before she came on a mission. I guess I'm her new project. Half the time, I thinks it's a good thing that she wants to help me cheer up and destress and all that, and the other half, she's spouting out these chipper little motivational one-liners that make me want to bite her.
I hope I can come back and write more later. I only got a few lines off to Nate and now you (you both got pretty much the same few lines too). There's still Rich, Dad, the mission president, Jeremiah, I've got so much more to say to you and Nate... If I can't get back to write more, let's just suffice it to say I love you. The most.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
I'm glad you and Rich got to have a little fun this week. The concert sounds like it was really cool, and it's neat that you got in for free.
Thanks for sending the package. I hope it arrives before I fun out of pills. I'll be watching for it. I'm excited for the beef jerky. ;-) For souvenirs, I can work with however much you want to send. I guess just send whatever you would otherwise spend on Christmas gifts.
As for how Nate and I have done things... I don't have any regrets. I don't know if I'd have made it this far without knowing I have a future with him to come home to. With everyone else pushing and pushing at me, I may have buckled and run the other way if I didn't have Nate to be good for. The fact is, we're commanded not to delay getting married, and we've already had to wait a long time. There's a reason why church policy allows women to come home from missions and get married. If the Lord wasn't okay with it, that wouldn't be the policy. I'm not really convinced that the Lord wants me to stay in the mission field more than he wants me to get married. And yes, there is time for both, but unless we figure some things out, there's going to be a LOT of frustration and time wasted. Nate and I don't have a long list of demands. But one thing we really are set on is our wish to be married in Utah. At the same time, it is so important for me to at least have my parents and my sisters there, and MomMom, is possible. Getting married without you is NOT an option. From what I can tell, you have exactly three times when you have time off from work and are available to come to a wedding: Christmas break, spring break, and summer. Nate is scheduled to work the week of March 6th and his sister is due to have a baby that week. (I'm also guessing that Rich, Chynna, and Keira don't have that week of with you.) So that one's out. So we either get married over Christmas, or we wait until summer just so you can be there. And during those six months, I will have no job, no school, no money, and nowhere to live, so I'll be 3,000 miles away from my finance with nothing to do but catch up on my reading list FOR SIX MONTHS. I am absolutely not okay with that in any way, and I don't think that's what God wants either. If I'm not mistaken about your availability, let me know. Because that's really what me maybe coming home was and still is about. 0In Fact, just give me dates on all of these... (Really. I need to know the specific dates so I know whether or not Christmas and summer really are our only options.)
When is Chynna's Christmas break? When is Keira's? Does Rich get time off? When is your spring break? When is Chynna's? Do Keira and Rich have time off? If so, when? When do each of your summer vacations start? Are there any times off for you that I don't know about? Are there any times that MomMom wouldn't be free? This is really important right now. So please get me the dates on these things as soon as you can.
Now as for the mission - Anette's baptism was on Saturday, and it was lovely. She was a little stress basket right up until the service started, but the speakers brought a really strong spirit, and she relaxed as they spoke. The music also helped. It was really neat - when we got up Saturday morning, Sister Sprauge looked out the window and saw a huge rainbow. The really neat thing was - the rainbow landed right on Anette's house. (She only lives about 2-3 blocks away from us.) We told her about it when she got to the church, and then we put together a quick musical number with the primary song about rainbows and baptism. She loved it. Her confirmation went really well (nowhere near as eventful as Pontus's was... no 90-year old crazies jumping into it or anything like that)... We also had a baby blessing in the same meeting, which was especially nice because the baby belongs to a less-active member we've been visiting for the last 3 months, and she just started coming to church again last week. President called us Saturday night with transfer assignments. Sister Sprague's moving to Goteborg to be with my old companion Sister Jenson. I'm really going to miss her. She's quickly become a best friend for me.
I'm glad you and Rich got to have a little fun this week. The concert sounds like it was really cool, and it's neat that you got in for free.
Thanks for sending the package. I hope it arrives before I fun out of pills. I'll be watching for it. I'm excited for the beef jerky. ;-) For souvenirs, I can work with however much you want to send. I guess just send whatever you would otherwise spend on Christmas gifts.
As for how Nate and I have done things... I don't have any regrets. I don't know if I'd have made it this far without knowing I have a future with him to come home to. With everyone else pushing and pushing at me, I may have buckled and run the other way if I didn't have Nate to be good for. The fact is, we're commanded not to delay getting married, and we've already had to wait a long time. There's a reason why church policy allows women to come home from missions and get married. If the Lord wasn't okay with it, that wouldn't be the policy. I'm not really convinced that the Lord wants me to stay in the mission field more than he wants me to get married. And yes, there is time for both, but unless we figure some things out, there's going to be a LOT of frustration and time wasted. Nate and I don't have a long list of demands. But one thing we really are set on is our wish to be married in Utah. At the same time, it is so important for me to at least have my parents and my sisters there, and MomMom, is possible. Getting married without you is NOT an option. From what I can tell, you have exactly three times when you have time off from work and are available to come to a wedding: Christmas break, spring break, and summer. Nate is scheduled to work the week of March 6th and his sister is due to have a baby that week. (I'm also guessing that Rich, Chynna, and Keira don't have that week of with you.) So that one's out. So we either get married over Christmas, or we wait until summer just so you can be there. And during those six months, I will have no job, no school, no money, and nowhere to live, so I'll be 3,000 miles away from my finance with nothing to do but catch up on my reading list FOR SIX MONTHS. I am absolutely not okay with that in any way, and I don't think that's what God wants either. If I'm not mistaken about your availability, let me know. Because that's really what me maybe coming home was and still is about. 0In Fact, just give me dates on all of these... (Really. I need to know the specific dates so I know whether or not Christmas and summer really are our only options.)
When is Chynna's Christmas break? When is Keira's? Does Rich get time off? When is your spring break? When is Chynna's? Do Keira and Rich have time off? If so, when? When do each of your summer vacations start? Are there any times off for you that I don't know about? Are there any times that MomMom wouldn't be free? This is really important right now. So please get me the dates on these things as soon as you can.
Now as for the mission - Anette's baptism was on Saturday, and it was lovely. She was a little stress basket right up until the service started, but the speakers brought a really strong spirit, and she relaxed as they spoke. The music also helped. It was really neat - when we got up Saturday morning, Sister Sprauge looked out the window and saw a huge rainbow. The really neat thing was - the rainbow landed right on Anette's house. (She only lives about 2-3 blocks away from us.) We told her about it when she got to the church, and then we put together a quick musical number with the primary song about rainbows and baptism. She loved it. Her confirmation went really well (nowhere near as eventful as Pontus's was... no 90-year old crazies jumping into it or anything like that)... We also had a baby blessing in the same meeting, which was especially nice because the baby belongs to a less-active member we've been visiting for the last 3 months, and she just started coming to church again last week. President called us Saturday night with transfer assignments. Sister Sprague's moving to Goteborg to be with my old companion Sister Jenson. I'm really going to miss her. She's quickly become a best friend for me.
Re: Momma
Dear Momma, I'm late getting this out today because we had a meeting scheduled in the middle of our p-day time. So I don't have a lot of time to write today. I'd best just jump into it.
I just told Sister Mortimer that her letter came when I was having a bad day. Which I was. It was very nice of her, and it turned out to be a ray of sunshine on a rainy day (literally. I swear, it's never going to stop raining).
I just hope the pills get here before I run out. Thanks a bunch for taking care of that. I can't think of anything else I really need, besides beef jerky. ;-) Sister Sprauge and I have just discovered a new favorite perfume. It's called Wild Rose by Avril Lavigne (yes, the punk singer I used to listen to. Weird, I know, but it smells amazing!). You know I don't have any pearl jewelry anymore. That would be nice. Aside from that... I'd just love to have some souvenirs from Sweden, so money for that would be great.
As for how things have gone this week, there's a whole book I could write on it. General Conference was fantastic. Did you get to listen to all of it? We still haven't been able to hear the last session, but we'll fit in it sometime this week.
As I prayed and asked whether or not I had done my part and could go home, the thought of being married over Christmas break came to mind. I thought it through, wrote out a calendar, and all the things we've been trying to figure out (getting everyone back and forth across the country over and over through work and school and whatever else) worked out. No one's tied up during Christmas break, and I'm only missing it by three weeks, so I called the mission president and talked with him about it. I suggested going home one transfer early (which would have put me home on the 10th of November) so that I would have time to put things together. So he then talked it over with the area presidency. And the answer that came back was surprizing. They said I could leave at any time to get married and I would have an honorable release, but they didn't like it because Nate and I getting engaged during the mission is so unusual. The president offered to let me and Nate speak over the phone about it, which we did. And it was AMAZING just to hear him! In the end, we decided that we don't really like it (he and I would both prefer that we get married over Christmas break), but we're going to try to follow the advice of the leaders and see what happens. So at this point, I'm planning on staying until January 12th, but I'm kind of hoping the mission president changes his mind or receives some new insight into the matter because getting married in December would just make everything fit so much better. So there you have it. Nate and I have agreed that if I keep trying to think about wedding things when I KNOW I could just come home and take care of it any time I wish, I'm going to lose my mind completely. So as of this weekend, all plans and concerns for the wedding are a forbidden topic. I wish I were free to pay attention to the things I really care about right now, but I'm not. So they're just going to have to go in a box. Grr.
Ending on a happy note: we just got Anette through her baptismal interview, and everything's looking good! We've finished putting the programs together as well, so now we just get to be excited and wait. Keep praying for her! ;-)
I love you, Momma. I hope you all have a great week, filled with the spirit that comes with hearing the words of the prophets.
With love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
I just told Sister Mortimer that her letter came when I was having a bad day. Which I was. It was very nice of her, and it turned out to be a ray of sunshine on a rainy day (literally. I swear, it's never going to stop raining).
I just hope the pills get here before I run out. Thanks a bunch for taking care of that. I can't think of anything else I really need, besides beef jerky. ;-) Sister Sprauge and I have just discovered a new favorite perfume. It's called Wild Rose by Avril Lavigne (yes, the punk singer I used to listen to. Weird, I know, but it smells amazing!). You know I don't have any pearl jewelry anymore. That would be nice. Aside from that... I'd just love to have some souvenirs from Sweden, so money for that would be great.
As for how things have gone this week, there's a whole book I could write on it. General Conference was fantastic. Did you get to listen to all of it? We still haven't been able to hear the last session, but we'll fit in it sometime this week.
As I prayed and asked whether or not I had done my part and could go home, the thought of being married over Christmas break came to mind. I thought it through, wrote out a calendar, and all the things we've been trying to figure out (getting everyone back and forth across the country over and over through work and school and whatever else) worked out. No one's tied up during Christmas break, and I'm only missing it by three weeks, so I called the mission president and talked with him about it. I suggested going home one transfer early (which would have put me home on the 10th of November) so that I would have time to put things together. So he then talked it over with the area presidency. And the answer that came back was surprizing. They said I could leave at any time to get married and I would have an honorable release, but they didn't like it because Nate and I getting engaged during the mission is so unusual. The president offered to let me and Nate speak over the phone about it, which we did. And it was AMAZING just to hear him! In the end, we decided that we don't really like it (he and I would both prefer that we get married over Christmas break), but we're going to try to follow the advice of the leaders and see what happens. So at this point, I'm planning on staying until January 12th, but I'm kind of hoping the mission president changes his mind or receives some new insight into the matter because getting married in December would just make everything fit so much better. So there you have it. Nate and I have agreed that if I keep trying to think about wedding things when I KNOW I could just come home and take care of it any time I wish, I'm going to lose my mind completely. So as of this weekend, all plans and concerns for the wedding are a forbidden topic. I wish I were free to pay attention to the things I really care about right now, but I'm not. So they're just going to have to go in a box. Grr.
Ending on a happy note: we just got Anette through her baptismal interview, and everything's looking good! We've finished putting the programs together as well, so now we just get to be excited and wait. Keep praying for her! ;-)
I love you, Momma. I hope you all have a great week, filled with the spirit that comes with hearing the words of the prophets.
With love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
Thanks for answering all that stuff. I'm glad you've got some appointments set up for me. As for my throat, it's not sore, I just can't speak as low as I normally do. We've got a theory now. The elders in the next area over told us they've been having trouble with their throats too. Their voices started cracking when they moved down here. So maybe it's something in the atmosphere? The thing that really concerns me is the spot on my back. It's not super big, but it's two different colors and blurry around the edges, which I know is a bad sign. I want to get it checked as soon as possible.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately - what I came on my mission for, what I've accomplished, what I'm doing now, and what I'm waiting for. For a long while now, I've felt like I've accomplished what I came here to do. Now I'm in a rut, and I wonder if there's much more here for me to do, or if I'm just waiting out the months. I don't like being divided between the mission's demands and my own desires for home and family life. It's not helpful to either side. All I really want to do is start my family, and I'm starting to think that maybe that's okay with God too. There's a reason why sisters are granted honorable releases for marriage. I'm not making any decisions about it right away. The mission president is going to be down here this week, so I'll talk to him and see what he has to say. And of course, I'm praying about it a lot. So far, I don't have nay clear answers. I won't decide to come home early without an answer about it from God. I hope I haven't distressed you with anything that I've written. I don't want you to think I'm giving up or abandoning my mission or anything like that. I've just recently realized that I'm not an elder and I'm not required to stay here the full 18 months, considering the circumstances that I'm in, so I want to know what God has to say about it. I probably should have started wondering and asking about this 4 months ago. I'm just slow sometimes, I guess.
I honestly don't know how all this wedding stuff is supposed to work out. I very much want you there, whichever side of the country it's on. I don't really consider not having you there an option. We're hardly even considering Nate's family (aside from his parents) because they've already given their consent to have it wherever and whenever, and we know my family doesn't have so many opportunities to see children married properly. I'm trying my very hardest to find a time that would allow you and all the rest to be there, and it just doesn't work, however I've tried to arrange it. It looks like the only way I could possibly get you there would be to get married at Christmas. And I want to include as many as possible on both sides. Have you considered that it would probably be fairest to have the temple ceremony on one side of the country and the ring ceremony on the other? That way, there's something for everyone. I think more of the folks on our side would appreciate the ring ceremony. But I don't know.
We're trying to get ready for Anette's baptism. The mission president will be interviewing her this week, if we can find a time that works for him and her both. I hate trying to coordinate busy schedules. She's really scared. Her friends and family think she's crazy, and her parents would disown her entirely if they knew. But she's going through with it anyway because she knows this is true, and she just can't stand to keep coming to church without being a member. She's got a lot of faith. Pray for her.
Sister Sprague and I have had an interesting week with a lot of ups and downs. Her family's going through some hard times right now. Her brother's marriage is falling apart, and he wrote her last week and told her he was thinking of killing himself. It was the eeriest feeling, thinking of her family going through the exact same thing we did (when she's at the exact same point in her mission that I was too). I wrote to her brother, and him my story - Casey's story. I tried to help him really see what kind of effect that decision would have on his sister and the rest of his family. Things are still rocky, but we think he's doing better now. I'm glad I'm here with Sister Sprague right now. I'm glad that she has someone with her who really understands the seriousness of these things, and I'm glad that I could use the things that have happened in the last year to help someone else. We'd appreciate it if you could say a prayer for her family too.
I love you very much, Momma. I pray for you each day, and I really do hope you're seeing answers to those prayers as God touched your life. I know He cares so deeply about all of us. He just wants us to be happy, and He's provided everything we need for that to be so. Keep praying, working, and remember to smile.
With all my love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Thanks for answering all that stuff. I'm glad you've got some appointments set up for me. As for my throat, it's not sore, I just can't speak as low as I normally do. We've got a theory now. The elders in the next area over told us they've been having trouble with their throats too. Their voices started cracking when they moved down here. So maybe it's something in the atmosphere? The thing that really concerns me is the spot on my back. It's not super big, but it's two different colors and blurry around the edges, which I know is a bad sign. I want to get it checked as soon as possible.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately - what I came on my mission for, what I've accomplished, what I'm doing now, and what I'm waiting for. For a long while now, I've felt like I've accomplished what I came here to do. Now I'm in a rut, and I wonder if there's much more here for me to do, or if I'm just waiting out the months. I don't like being divided between the mission's demands and my own desires for home and family life. It's not helpful to either side. All I really want to do is start my family, and I'm starting to think that maybe that's okay with God too. There's a reason why sisters are granted honorable releases for marriage. I'm not making any decisions about it right away. The mission president is going to be down here this week, so I'll talk to him and see what he has to say. And of course, I'm praying about it a lot. So far, I don't have nay clear answers. I won't decide to come home early without an answer about it from God. I hope I haven't distressed you with anything that I've written. I don't want you to think I'm giving up or abandoning my mission or anything like that. I've just recently realized that I'm not an elder and I'm not required to stay here the full 18 months, considering the circumstances that I'm in, so I want to know what God has to say about it. I probably should have started wondering and asking about this 4 months ago. I'm just slow sometimes, I guess.
I honestly don't know how all this wedding stuff is supposed to work out. I very much want you there, whichever side of the country it's on. I don't really consider not having you there an option. We're hardly even considering Nate's family (aside from his parents) because they've already given their consent to have it wherever and whenever, and we know my family doesn't have so many opportunities to see children married properly. I'm trying my very hardest to find a time that would allow you and all the rest to be there, and it just doesn't work, however I've tried to arrange it. It looks like the only way I could possibly get you there would be to get married at Christmas. And I want to include as many as possible on both sides. Have you considered that it would probably be fairest to have the temple ceremony on one side of the country and the ring ceremony on the other? That way, there's something for everyone. I think more of the folks on our side would appreciate the ring ceremony. But I don't know.
We're trying to get ready for Anette's baptism. The mission president will be interviewing her this week, if we can find a time that works for him and her both. I hate trying to coordinate busy schedules. She's really scared. Her friends and family think she's crazy, and her parents would disown her entirely if they knew. But she's going through with it anyway because she knows this is true, and she just can't stand to keep coming to church without being a member. She's got a lot of faith. Pray for her.
Sister Sprague and I have had an interesting week with a lot of ups and downs. Her family's going through some hard times right now. Her brother's marriage is falling apart, and he wrote her last week and told her he was thinking of killing himself. It was the eeriest feeling, thinking of her family going through the exact same thing we did (when she's at the exact same point in her mission that I was too). I wrote to her brother, and him my story - Casey's story. I tried to help him really see what kind of effect that decision would have on his sister and the rest of his family. Things are still rocky, but we think he's doing better now. I'm glad I'm here with Sister Sprague right now. I'm glad that she has someone with her who really understands the seriousness of these things, and I'm glad that I could use the things that have happened in the last year to help someone else. We'd appreciate it if you could say a prayer for her family too.
I love you very much, Momma. I pray for you each day, and I really do hope you're seeing answers to those prayers as God touched your life. I know He cares so deeply about all of us. He just wants us to be happy, and He's provided everything we need for that to be so. Keep praying, working, and remember to smile.
With all my love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Monday, November 21, 2011
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
No, I wouldn't be counted as leaving the mission early. The mission president gets about a month's leeway in either direction when it comes to release dates. He just needs to know if there's a special reason for us to go sooner or later. So again, when do you and Chynna have Christmas break? I'm not even suggesting it to Nate until I know if it would work, and he's waiting for me to send him my input on dates, so PLEASE answer the question.
I would guess that you haven't heard much from Nate lately because getting input from everyone else has just been more trouble than it's worth. It's caused him so much stress. I don't think he wants to talk with anyone else about plans but me right now. I do need more of an idea from you now about the reception in Franklin. Locations? Resources? Budget? Who will be able to come?
Chynna won't be upstaging me. Her marriage really just doesn't compare to mine and Nate's. Even if she got married the same week, it wouldn't steal any sun out of my sky. We know for sure that being rude to John has not and will not put her off from him. I'd say it's a good thing to practice a little niceness toward him, just in case. She may very well marry John, and if she does, we're just going to have to accept it or else we'll lose contact with her all together. I'd rather have John with her at the holidays, birthdays, and dinners than not have her there at all.
And on another note all together: I'm wondering what kinds of check-ups and appointments I'm going to be needing as soon as I get back. I'm getting a toothache. I've developed and abnormal mole on my back. And either something's wrong with my throat or my voice is changing. It hurts to talk in my normal tone of voice; it feels like I'm straining to hit a note that's too low for me, so I have to try to speak higher.
I did get the song and the box of candies. I also saw the money you put in my account. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much, Momma.
Poor Heather. Let her know that my prayers are with her too, please.
I've got a little good news. Our investigator Anette decided on a baptismal date yesterday! She and the bishop spoke for a while after church, and then they told us she was ready, so we started working out a program for her. She's getting baptized on October 8th - the Saturday after General Conference. We're so stoked! Make sure to pray for her for the next three weeks, kay?
I hope you have a good week, Momma. Pray and read lots, and be nice to your husband. Remember - part of having an eternal marriage means treating each other in such a way that you WANT to be married forever. He needs some love, and he doesn't deserve to be growled at for things that have nothing to do with him. Let him know I love him too.
With so much love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
No, I wouldn't be counted as leaving the mission early. The mission president gets about a month's leeway in either direction when it comes to release dates. He just needs to know if there's a special reason for us to go sooner or later. So again, when do you and Chynna have Christmas break? I'm not even suggesting it to Nate until I know if it would work, and he's waiting for me to send him my input on dates, so PLEASE answer the question.
I would guess that you haven't heard much from Nate lately because getting input from everyone else has just been more trouble than it's worth. It's caused him so much stress. I don't think he wants to talk with anyone else about plans but me right now. I do need more of an idea from you now about the reception in Franklin. Locations? Resources? Budget? Who will be able to come?
Chynna won't be upstaging me. Her marriage really just doesn't compare to mine and Nate's. Even if she got married the same week, it wouldn't steal any sun out of my sky. We know for sure that being rude to John has not and will not put her off from him. I'd say it's a good thing to practice a little niceness toward him, just in case. She may very well marry John, and if she does, we're just going to have to accept it or else we'll lose contact with her all together. I'd rather have John with her at the holidays, birthdays, and dinners than not have her there at all.
And on another note all together: I'm wondering what kinds of check-ups and appointments I'm going to be needing as soon as I get back. I'm getting a toothache. I've developed and abnormal mole on my back. And either something's wrong with my throat or my voice is changing. It hurts to talk in my normal tone of voice; it feels like I'm straining to hit a note that's too low for me, so I have to try to speak higher.
I did get the song and the box of candies. I also saw the money you put in my account. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much, Momma.
Poor Heather. Let her know that my prayers are with her too, please.
I've got a little good news. Our investigator Anette decided on a baptismal date yesterday! She and the bishop spoke for a while after church, and then they told us she was ready, so we started working out a program for her. She's getting baptized on October 8th - the Saturday after General Conference. We're so stoked! Make sure to pray for her for the next three weeks, kay?
I hope you have a good week, Momma. Pray and read lots, and be nice to your husband. Remember - part of having an eternal marriage means treating each other in such a way that you WANT to be married forever. He needs some love, and he doesn't deserve to be growled at for things that have nothing to do with him. Let him know I love him too.
With so much love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Hi, Mom. I'm really pressed for time today. For whatever reason, my companion and our zone's elders think that 4 hours on a train is fair exchange for 2 hours catching a frisbee, so I have to hurry through everything to catch a train. Maybe I'll be able to come back and write more later today. I don't know. Probably not, but I hope so.
Your new little girl sounds adorable. What is she? Cat? Dog? Guinea Pig?
Nate and I are trying our best to figure out all the options. It's just slow and a little confusing because it's all through letters, and as soon as on of us thinks we've got it figured out, we get a letter from the other, saying why this or that won't work. An interesting idea was presented this past week... I have no idea if it would help or not, but here it is. Some of the missionaries going home in my group aren't traveling in January. They're going home December 22 in order to be able to start the school semester on time. I could talk to the mission president about being included in that travel group if it would help. So my question is - when do you and Chynna have Christmas break? Would it work better if I came home the week of Christmas and we had the wedding in January before you go back to work and she goes back to school?
Nate knows a clothing designer, so he's going to talk to them about finding the right fabrics to make a dress, and then we'll figure out how we'll get it made.
Yes, I am very proud of you for all the reading you've done. You've read more books of scripture than I have this year. You're doing great. :-)1
I have to run or we'll miss the train. I love you very much, Momma. Bye!
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Your new little girl sounds adorable. What is she? Cat? Dog? Guinea Pig?
Nate and I are trying our best to figure out all the options. It's just slow and a little confusing because it's all through letters, and as soon as on of us thinks we've got it figured out, we get a letter from the other, saying why this or that won't work. An interesting idea was presented this past week... I have no idea if it would help or not, but here it is. Some of the missionaries going home in my group aren't traveling in January. They're going home December 22 in order to be able to start the school semester on time. I could talk to the mission president about being included in that travel group if it would help. So my question is - when do you and Chynna have Christmas break? Would it work better if I came home the week of Christmas and we had the wedding in January before you go back to work and she goes back to school?
Nate knows a clothing designer, so he's going to talk to them about finding the right fabrics to make a dress, and then we'll figure out how we'll get it made.
Yes, I am very proud of you for all the reading you've done. You've read more books of scripture than I have this year. You're doing great. :-)1
I have to run or we'll miss the train. I love you very much, Momma. Bye!
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Re: Momma
Good morning, Momma!
It's been a pretty slow week in Halmstad. Every investigator we have is either out of town, or was too busy, or just didn't show up if they did set an appointment with us. It's the first week (and hopefully the last) that I didn't have a single teaching appointment. So with some of that 'free time', we've put together a ward mission plan. We're going to put a lot of emphasis in this ward on finding and reactivating the members that have fallen away. At least, that's our plan. I think it's a good one. All the members seem to agree that there's not much point to bringing in new people when we can't keep the old ones.
Yes, I've heard from Nate, but apparently our mail's having some issues right now. I heard nothing from him at all this month, and then about 3 days ago, I got two letters at once that were both about a month old. I hope its just a hiccup and not standard Halmstad mail service. I guess another week or so will tell. Anyway, he says for me not to worry about wedding plans, and to defer you to his department if anything to do with it comes up. ;-)
No, you didn't tell me about your dream. But I do know what you mean when you say you're having paranoia. I went through it back in February. It's one of the main things the mission therapist helped me sort out. It's anxiety, and it's part of the grieving process that comes when you've been too stressed too long. Your whole system just feels attacked and gets stuck in defensive mode. There were a number of weeks when I just felt scared all the time. I would get panicky in any kind of crowd and was constantly on the look-out for danger, because I felt sure it was coming at any moment. I even had a few panic attacks, and on one occasion, thought we were about to be bombed by terrorists in the train station. I was especially worried because I couldn't tell whether or not my fears were just me, or warnings of danger from the Holy Ghost, which is so important for anyone, but maybe even a little moreso as a missionary. Elder Taylor (the therapist) helped me recognize that Heavenly Father knew how stressed and confused I was, and He wouldn't send me a warning or a prompting I needed to follow in a way that would just confuse me further. At that time, I couldn't rely on my feelings because they were all over the place, so when it came to promptings, I could discard my emotional senses, and trust that if there was something Heavenly Father wanted to tell me, he would make it clear in another way. I also found it helpful to trust in my companion's ability to receive guidance from the Holy Ghost, knowing that if we were in danger, the Holy Ghost would be telling her as well as me. I can tell you from first hand experience, it will pass. The fear doesn't go away all at once, but gradually your system will relax again. It goes faster as you make a decided effort to recognize the positive and be appreciative, and also as you calmly, logically work through those moments of panic. It also helped me a lot just to have Elder Taylor to talk to, as it vented out the stress I was feeling about EVERYTHING. I would definitely suggest having someone to talk to right now. And I know exactly what you mean about being strong too. Everyone has told me how strong I am, and how much they admire me for the way I've kept going, but frankly I just felt like I had no other choice but to do what I was doing. When you're between a rock and a hard place, you either keep breathing or you get squished. Sometimes I wanted to just give up and get squished, but I wanted to breathe more. Remember: "This too shall pass."
And I think "Casey's Song" is beautiful. Please tell Mary I said so the next time you see her.
I love you so much, Momma. Take some time to sit down and relax this week, okay? And don't feel bad about it, even if there are some things that need to get done. Your body and spirit just need it right now. Pass on my love to the rest of the family.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
It's been a pretty slow week in Halmstad. Every investigator we have is either out of town, or was too busy, or just didn't show up if they did set an appointment with us. It's the first week (and hopefully the last) that I didn't have a single teaching appointment. So with some of that 'free time', we've put together a ward mission plan. We're going to put a lot of emphasis in this ward on finding and reactivating the members that have fallen away. At least, that's our plan. I think it's a good one. All the members seem to agree that there's not much point to bringing in new people when we can't keep the old ones.
Yes, I've heard from Nate, but apparently our mail's having some issues right now. I heard nothing from him at all this month, and then about 3 days ago, I got two letters at once that were both about a month old. I hope its just a hiccup and not standard Halmstad mail service. I guess another week or so will tell. Anyway, he says for me not to worry about wedding plans, and to defer you to his department if anything to do with it comes up. ;-)
No, you didn't tell me about your dream. But I do know what you mean when you say you're having paranoia. I went through it back in February. It's one of the main things the mission therapist helped me sort out. It's anxiety, and it's part of the grieving process that comes when you've been too stressed too long. Your whole system just feels attacked and gets stuck in defensive mode. There were a number of weeks when I just felt scared all the time. I would get panicky in any kind of crowd and was constantly on the look-out for danger, because I felt sure it was coming at any moment. I even had a few panic attacks, and on one occasion, thought we were about to be bombed by terrorists in the train station. I was especially worried because I couldn't tell whether or not my fears were just me, or warnings of danger from the Holy Ghost, which is so important for anyone, but maybe even a little moreso as a missionary. Elder Taylor (the therapist) helped me recognize that Heavenly Father knew how stressed and confused I was, and He wouldn't send me a warning or a prompting I needed to follow in a way that would just confuse me further. At that time, I couldn't rely on my feelings because they were all over the place, so when it came to promptings, I could discard my emotional senses, and trust that if there was something Heavenly Father wanted to tell me, he would make it clear in another way. I also found it helpful to trust in my companion's ability to receive guidance from the Holy Ghost, knowing that if we were in danger, the Holy Ghost would be telling her as well as me. I can tell you from first hand experience, it will pass. The fear doesn't go away all at once, but gradually your system will relax again. It goes faster as you make a decided effort to recognize the positive and be appreciative, and also as you calmly, logically work through those moments of panic. It also helped me a lot just to have Elder Taylor to talk to, as it vented out the stress I was feeling about EVERYTHING. I would definitely suggest having someone to talk to right now. And I know exactly what you mean about being strong too. Everyone has told me how strong I am, and how much they admire me for the way I've kept going, but frankly I just felt like I had no other choice but to do what I was doing. When you're between a rock and a hard place, you either keep breathing or you get squished. Sometimes I wanted to just give up and get squished, but I wanted to breathe more. Remember: "This too shall pass."
And I think "Casey's Song" is beautiful. Please tell Mary I said so the next time you see her.
I love you so much, Momma. Take some time to sit down and relax this week, okay? And don't feel bad about it, even if there are some things that need to get done. Your body and spirit just need it right now. Pass on my love to the rest of the family.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
Good Morning!
Have you seen Chynna's old future husband in the Apostolic group?
As for my future husband... I haven't heard from him in over 2 weeks. If you do email him today, let him know my companion really doesn't mind me getting mail - she wishes I were getting something at this point.
And provided that I see some mail soon, I think Nate and I will manage to pick out our own date just fine, thanks. I want him and me to plan our wedding together, Momma. It's the first big thing for us to do as our own family, and it's the only wedding we're ever going to have. I want it to be something that really is mine and his.
Anyway, things over here a going well. Halmstad's a rainy little town, so I'm grateful the sun's shining today.
Sister Sprague and I are starting to feel at home here. We've got some fun investigators. There's this paranoid lady named Annette; she's got a baptismal date set, but she refuses to give out her number or tell anyone at church where she lives just to make sure no one pressures her to get baptized. We have two other with baptismal dates, but we haven't met them because they're on summer vacation. Then there's Marketta - a super sweet little Finnish lady with a huge alcohol problem. She's NEVER sober, and the poor woman can't remember anything we tell her. She sometimes calls us in the middle of the night, then hangs up right away. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Let's see... who else? We're teaching a Buddhist kid. He believes in the skinny Buddha, not the fat one. Did you know that there's more than one Buddha? I sure didn't. Then there's Ingvor - an inactive member we're visiting who believes in reincarnation. Not sure how that one slipped through the baptismal interview questions. And Kelvish, the newly baptized member who believes that everyone's just out to pick on him. I asked the bishop yesterday if our Elders Quorum President has autism. Turns out he doesn't, but the bishop thought it was really funny that I asked. Sometimes as a missionary, I feel like I'm running a grown-up day care center. Anyway, we were over at the bishop's house for dinner yesterday. They let us fill a big bowl with cherries and wild strawberries from their yard, and we got to pet their neighbors' horses. Actually, Sister Sprague petted them. I was too chicken. Especially after Sister Sprague's arm touched the electric fence and the shock went through her and into the horse. That was not a happy animal.
I love you very much, Momma. I love the work I'm doing, and I'm grateful that you're supporting me in it. Thanks so much for your prayers and your love and the resources you've given. I love you the most.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Good Morning!
Have you seen Chynna's old future husband in the Apostolic group?
As for my future husband... I haven't heard from him in over 2 weeks. If you do email him today, let him know my companion really doesn't mind me getting mail - she wishes I were getting something at this point.
And provided that I see some mail soon, I think Nate and I will manage to pick out our own date just fine, thanks. I want him and me to plan our wedding together, Momma. It's the first big thing for us to do as our own family, and it's the only wedding we're ever going to have. I want it to be something that really is mine and his.
Anyway, things over here a going well. Halmstad's a rainy little town, so I'm grateful the sun's shining today.
Sister Sprague and I are starting to feel at home here. We've got some fun investigators. There's this paranoid lady named Annette; she's got a baptismal date set, but she refuses to give out her number or tell anyone at church where she lives just to make sure no one pressures her to get baptized. We have two other with baptismal dates, but we haven't met them because they're on summer vacation. Then there's Marketta - a super sweet little Finnish lady with a huge alcohol problem. She's NEVER sober, and the poor woman can't remember anything we tell her. She sometimes calls us in the middle of the night, then hangs up right away. It would be funny if it weren't so sad. Let's see... who else? We're teaching a Buddhist kid. He believes in the skinny Buddha, not the fat one. Did you know that there's more than one Buddha? I sure didn't. Then there's Ingvor - an inactive member we're visiting who believes in reincarnation. Not sure how that one slipped through the baptismal interview questions. And Kelvish, the newly baptized member who believes that everyone's just out to pick on him. I asked the bishop yesterday if our Elders Quorum President has autism. Turns out he doesn't, but the bishop thought it was really funny that I asked. Sometimes as a missionary, I feel like I'm running a grown-up day care center. Anyway, we were over at the bishop's house for dinner yesterday. They let us fill a big bowl with cherries and wild strawberries from their yard, and we got to pet their neighbors' horses. Actually, Sister Sprague petted them. I was too chicken. Especially after Sister Sprague's arm touched the electric fence and the shock went through her and into the horse. That was not a happy animal.
I love you very much, Momma. I love the work I'm doing, and I'm grateful that you're supporting me in it. Thanks so much for your prayers and your love and the resources you've given. I love you the most.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
Sorry I wasn't around this morning. We've been running all over Halmstad trying to figure out where things are and how they work. We won't be able to get library cards until my greenie's personnummer (kind of like a social security number) arrives in the mail, which could be this week or next or the week after... don't really know. But until it does, we won't have a regular emailing time.
I've still got my greenie, Sister Sprague (sounds like egg), but the other companion got emergency transferred at the last minute. We're not really sure why. Apparently President Newell just thought she needed to be somewhere else. (And yes, I've met President Newell a few times now.) Anyway, Sister Sprague's a sweetie. She's excited to try out all the new things, and we're getting along great. She fetches things for me, washes my dishes, thinks I have fantastic Swedish... It's awesome. Kind of interesting - my Swedish does seem to have improved remarkably this week. It's pretty cool. Also, Halmstad's BEAUTIFUL! It's a little beach town that really is just made to be on postcards. It might be the prettiest place I've ever been. The ward's teeny - about 15 people, I think. But they're a strong little bunch. They've been really nice.
Glad to know you and Nate have mapped out my whole future for me. Thanks. Are you appeased now that he's asked? Nate already knows I'm a total goofball. I don't know if he'd be surprised by any stories you'd tell on me.
Dusty with a girlfriend, huh? Will miracles never cease?
Anyway, since we're sharing one computer, I need to finish and give Sister Sprague a turn. I love you bunches, Momma. Take care.
Love,
Sister Hillary Kiser
Sorry I wasn't around this morning. We've been running all over Halmstad trying to figure out where things are and how they work. We won't be able to get library cards until my greenie's personnummer (kind of like a social security number) arrives in the mail, which could be this week or next or the week after... don't really know. But until it does, we won't have a regular emailing time.
I've still got my greenie, Sister Sprague (sounds like egg), but the other companion got emergency transferred at the last minute. We're not really sure why. Apparently President Newell just thought she needed to be somewhere else. (And yes, I've met President Newell a few times now.) Anyway, Sister Sprague's a sweetie. She's excited to try out all the new things, and we're getting along great. She fetches things for me, washes my dishes, thinks I have fantastic Swedish... It's awesome. Kind of interesting - my Swedish does seem to have improved remarkably this week. It's pretty cool. Also, Halmstad's BEAUTIFUL! It's a little beach town that really is just made to be on postcards. It might be the prettiest place I've ever been. The ward's teeny - about 15 people, I think. But they're a strong little bunch. They've been really nice.
Glad to know you and Nate have mapped out my whole future for me. Thanks. Are you appeased now that he's asked? Nate already knows I'm a total goofball. I don't know if he'd be surprised by any stories you'd tell on me.
Dusty with a girlfriend, huh? Will miracles never cease?
Anyway, since we're sharing one computer, I need to finish and give Sister Sprague a turn. I love you bunches, Momma. Take care.
Love,
Sister Hillary Kiser
Re: Momma
Dear Momma,
Please give my love to Lyle and the boys. I'll definitely be praying for them. Could you send me their address so I can send them a card?
So, as you can see, I'm writing this on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. Our brand new mission president (just arrived last Friday) is shaking things up around here. He moved the transfer forward to tomorrow instead of Thursday, so we're packing and trying to cram everything else in today. As for the transfer itself... things are pretty crazy. I'm finally leaving Uppsala, which I'm pretty excited about. I've only got 3 transfers left, and I want to see as much of Sweden as I can. We're whitewashing an area (meaning we're new to the area, and know nothing about it aside from the notes left by the last companionship). We're going down the south end of Sweden to Halmstad. I think I'll be close enough to Denmark that we'll get to go to the Copenhagen temple! I'm going to be the senior companion in a trio. I've got Sister Vistaunet (a really bubbly, sweet girl who's just finishing her greenie transfer) AND I'm training a greenie! As far as anyone in the mission can remember, no one's EVER done this before. We all thought it was crazy enough to whitewash and train at the same time. No one's ever trained in a trio before, nevermind whitewashing on top of that! Interestingly enough, EVERY trainer in the mission is from my MTC group. Since the elders are only half-way through their mission, that says a lot about them. They're a bunch of real super stars.
I love 'em to death!
Thanks for sharing Nate's email with me. I really enjoyed it. He's so sweet, and he's trying so hard to make a good impression on you. You be nice to him, 'kay? :-P It's probably a good thing I'm going to be up to my eyeballs in my new transfer assignment. It'll keep me focused on the mission work, which has been a little hard, since I'm engaged to the most amazing guy ever, and the work in Uppsala's been slow recently.
Hm, what else...?
Happy 4th of July! We have 7 Americans in the ward here, so we all got together for a little barbeque yesterday, which was fun. The hosts had a huge patch of daises in their yard, and we all learned how to make flower wreaths.
I'm sure there are other things I could share, but I really just can't think of them with all this transfer stuff going through my head, so I'm going to wrap this up. I love you so much, Momma. I hope you all have a wonderful week. Don't forget to pray and play a little bit too.
I love you!
-Syster Hillary Kiser
Please give my love to Lyle and the boys. I'll definitely be praying for them. Could you send me their address so I can send them a card?
So, as you can see, I'm writing this on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. Our brand new mission president (just arrived last Friday) is shaking things up around here. He moved the transfer forward to tomorrow instead of Thursday, so we're packing and trying to cram everything else in today. As for the transfer itself... things are pretty crazy. I'm finally leaving Uppsala, which I'm pretty excited about. I've only got 3 transfers left, and I want to see as much of Sweden as I can. We're whitewashing an area (meaning we're new to the area, and know nothing about it aside from the notes left by the last companionship). We're going down the south end of Sweden to Halmstad. I think I'll be close enough to Denmark that we'll get to go to the Copenhagen temple! I'm going to be the senior companion in a trio. I've got Sister Vistaunet (a really bubbly, sweet girl who's just finishing her greenie transfer) AND I'm training a greenie! As far as anyone in the mission can remember, no one's EVER done this before. We all thought it was crazy enough to whitewash and train at the same time. No one's ever trained in a trio before, nevermind whitewashing on top of that! Interestingly enough, EVERY trainer in the mission is from my MTC group. Since the elders are only half-way through their mission, that says a lot about them. They're a bunch of real super stars.
I love 'em to death!
Thanks for sharing Nate's email with me. I really enjoyed it. He's so sweet, and he's trying so hard to make a good impression on you. You be nice to him, 'kay? :-P It's probably a good thing I'm going to be up to my eyeballs in my new transfer assignment. It'll keep me focused on the mission work, which has been a little hard, since I'm engaged to the most amazing guy ever, and the work in Uppsala's been slow recently.
Hm, what else...?
Happy 4th of July! We have 7 Americans in the ward here, so we all got together for a little barbeque yesterday, which was fun. The hosts had a huge patch of daises in their yard, and we all learned how to make flower wreaths.
I'm sure there are other things I could share, but I really just can't think of them with all this transfer stuff going through my head, so I'm going to wrap this up. I love you so much, Momma. I hope you all have a wonderful week. Don't forget to pray and play a little bit too.
I love you!
-Syster Hillary Kiser
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Re: chat
We've had a lot of fun things happening over the last week. We had Midsummer, the second biggest holiday of the year in Sweden. We had a combined stake activity, and all the missionaries around the Stockholm areas got together. We made flower wreaths, played football, and sang and danced around a maypole.
And then Sister Dabb and her greenie stayed the night with us! I took Sister Dabb and we surprized Bahman. (You remember him? Our super-positive investigator from Iran who got scared and stopped meeting with us a few months ago.) He was really miserable, and looked terrible. He said he's realized that he was a lot happier before, so he's agreed to start over with us! I'm so excited to have him back!
And then Sister Dabb and her greenie stayed the night with us! I took Sister Dabb and we surprized Bahman. (You remember him? Our super-positive investigator from Iran who got scared and stopped meeting with us a few months ago.) He was really miserable, and looked terrible. He said he's realized that he was a lot happier before, so he's agreed to start over with us! I'm so excited to have him back!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Re: Momma and Keira
Thanks, Momma and Keira! I'll be looking for the packages. I got a few birthday cards this week from people in the ward. I wish I could have you thank them for me, but I forgot to write them down this morning.
Nate's package absolutely made my week! He wanted to send me flowers, but you know that wouldn't work through the mail, so he had his nieces make me some paper flowers, then he bought an art book and taught himself to draw flowers and sent me the sketches. It was so sweet! He also sent a gold necklace with a few little stones in a heart.
I'm so excited for Franklin to have missionaries again! Do you know who's going to be called as the ward mission leader? That's kind of a newer thing - I'm not sure if they'd made that calling yet the last time Franklin had missionaries.
Hey, now. How come you never took me horseback riding when I was little? I swear, that girl has all the fun... Sorry you got a stubborn horse. I hope your knee and your hip heal up quick. I hope it hasn't put you off from the activity. Provided I'm not too scared of the horse, I might have to try that out when I get home... in 8 months... Good grief, it's going fast! I didn't think so at the beginning. It seemed like I'd be here forever. But it has gone pretty fast in hind-sight... I'm guessing that's a feeling I'll be having for the rest of my life, right?
I have a request for you and Rich - kind of a continual homework assignment. My companions families sometimes send them inspirational stories or talks that they like. Sometimes they've been really helpful in our lessons, but even if they're not they're fun to read. Could you start looking around for good stories or talks that you've liked (from church, family, emails, the church website, whatever) and send them to me every now and then? And send some pictures too! ;-)
I'm glad I got to chat with you a little today, Momma. I love you - A LOT!
Have a wonderful week - don't forget to see the flowers and the sunshine (between the rain and hailstorms). ;-)
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Nate's package absolutely made my week! He wanted to send me flowers, but you know that wouldn't work through the mail, so he had his nieces make me some paper flowers, then he bought an art book and taught himself to draw flowers and sent me the sketches. It was so sweet! He also sent a gold necklace with a few little stones in a heart.
I'm so excited for Franklin to have missionaries again! Do you know who's going to be called as the ward mission leader? That's kind of a newer thing - I'm not sure if they'd made that calling yet the last time Franklin had missionaries.
Hey, now. How come you never took me horseback riding when I was little? I swear, that girl has all the fun... Sorry you got a stubborn horse. I hope your knee and your hip heal up quick. I hope it hasn't put you off from the activity. Provided I'm not too scared of the horse, I might have to try that out when I get home... in 8 months... Good grief, it's going fast! I didn't think so at the beginning. It seemed like I'd be here forever. But it has gone pretty fast in hind-sight... I'm guessing that's a feeling I'll be having for the rest of my life, right?
I have a request for you and Rich - kind of a continual homework assignment. My companions families sometimes send them inspirational stories or talks that they like. Sometimes they've been really helpful in our lessons, but even if they're not they're fun to read. Could you start looking around for good stories or talks that you've liked (from church, family, emails, the church website, whatever) and send them to me every now and then? And send some pictures too! ;-)
I'm glad I got to chat with you a little today, Momma. I love you - A LOT!
Have a wonderful week - don't forget to see the flowers and the sunshine (between the rain and hailstorms). ;-)
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Mom
Dear Momma,
I'm sorry to hear about the deaths in the family. It seems like the good or the bad always come in sets. I feel like in future times, these couple of years we're in now are going to be times that we look back on as 'the refining fire'. It's definitely not easy - the kiln is the last place anyone wants to be - but beautiful, strong works of art can't be made without going through it. I'm confident that someday we will be able to look back on these hard times and feel gratitude for the deliverance of the Lord that we'll have seen, as well as the ways that we've changed and grown from them.
The coming of spring is a back-and-forth process here - it's just warm enough to melt off most of the ice, and then we get another cold snap and just a little more snow. The highlight of our week was that two days ago, Syster Dabb and I were out knocking on doors, and when we looked down we saw a fresh little patch of yellow and purple flowers already in bloom! I think those flowers rank below Tobias and Pontus's baptisms on the list of best things I've seen on my mission!
We've also picked up three new investigators this week: Jason from Singapore, Juan from China, and Erika from Sundsvall! It's kind of fun how international this mission is. Sweden's just a huge melting pot for the entire world. It's cool seeing so many different cultures living and working together. It makes me wonder why so many times people who come from the same place and the same background can't get along at all?
This next week should be pretty fun - we're having a 2-day conference in Stockholm just for the sisternaries, which starts tomorrow. Syster Dabb and I have been charged with running part of it and have been preparing the theme and messages. That starts tomorrow.
Thanks for filling me in on this Richard Smith guy. That clears things up a lot. I don't feel bad for being confused about it; I only know one old Canadian named Richard, and that's Uncle Richard. He talked a lot about the Stegeby family - which is the same family that had us over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. So yes, I do know a number of the same people he does.
And thanks for not scaring Nate off. I appreciate that. The image of you singing out my praises to him made me laugh so hard! The only way I can imagine it ending is him singing it all right back to you. You don't have to tell him I'm frugal; he knows that well already. The only real argument I can remember us having was over me never wanting to go places on dates that cost him money. But anyway, if he OR YOU insist on sending something for my birthday, just make sure it's something small. I've got so much luggage already. I can't haul much. You know I've got no muscle at all. ;-)
I feel like I've written a novel here. I hope you have a wonderful week, and I really hope everyone's recovered from the sickness by now. Pass on my love to everybody. And remember that I love you the most.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
I'm sorry to hear about the deaths in the family. It seems like the good or the bad always come in sets. I feel like in future times, these couple of years we're in now are going to be times that we look back on as 'the refining fire'. It's definitely not easy - the kiln is the last place anyone wants to be - but beautiful, strong works of art can't be made without going through it. I'm confident that someday we will be able to look back on these hard times and feel gratitude for the deliverance of the Lord that we'll have seen, as well as the ways that we've changed and grown from them.
The coming of spring is a back-and-forth process here - it's just warm enough to melt off most of the ice, and then we get another cold snap and just a little more snow. The highlight of our week was that two days ago, Syster Dabb and I were out knocking on doors, and when we looked down we saw a fresh little patch of yellow and purple flowers already in bloom! I think those flowers rank below Tobias and Pontus's baptisms on the list of best things I've seen on my mission!
We've also picked up three new investigators this week: Jason from Singapore, Juan from China, and Erika from Sundsvall! It's kind of fun how international this mission is. Sweden's just a huge melting pot for the entire world. It's cool seeing so many different cultures living and working together. It makes me wonder why so many times people who come from the same place and the same background can't get along at all?
This next week should be pretty fun - we're having a 2-day conference in Stockholm just for the sisternaries, which starts tomorrow. Syster Dabb and I have been charged with running part of it and have been preparing the theme and messages. That starts tomorrow.
Thanks for filling me in on this Richard Smith guy. That clears things up a lot. I don't feel bad for being confused about it; I only know one old Canadian named Richard, and that's Uncle Richard. He talked a lot about the Stegeby family - which is the same family that had us over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. So yes, I do know a number of the same people he does.
And thanks for not scaring Nate off. I appreciate that. The image of you singing out my praises to him made me laugh so hard! The only way I can imagine it ending is him singing it all right back to you. You don't have to tell him I'm frugal; he knows that well already. The only real argument I can remember us having was over me never wanting to go places on dates that cost him money. But anyway, if he OR YOU insist on sending something for my birthday, just make sure it's something small. I've got so much luggage already. I can't haul much. You know I've got no muscle at all. ;-)
I feel like I've written a novel here. I hope you have a wonderful week, and I really hope everyone's recovered from the sickness by now. Pass on my love to everybody. And remember that I love you the most.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Hi, Momma.
Very, very tired. The elders in our zone wanted to get together in Stockholm for some sports today, but Sister Dabb and I thought it over last night, and decided it just wasn't worth it. We'd much rather stay home and take it easy (as much as that's possible) just for once. So that's the plan for the 5 hours of p-day we've got left: do as little as possible. ;-) (One thing I will be doing, though, is finishing Casey's design. It'll be in the mail every soon.)
I am very happy, all the same. Pontus and Bahman are both doing great, and becoming good friends. Pontus is going to help us get Bahman off the cigarettes this week. Bahman's really funny. He's got me set up on this ridiculously high pedestal in his mind. (He doesn't believe me at all when I tell him I was a moody, rebellious teenager. Go ahead and laugh.) Sister Dabb says he just connects best with me. We're both imaginative, emotional, dreamer types, I guess. But anyway, at least once (usually many times) per lesson, he gets this startled look on his face over something I've just said. He keeps asking me if I can read his mind and if I know him better than he does because of the things i say. Apparently he really needs to hear them. I'm just glad that I seem to be getting something right by accident every now and then, but he's convinced that I can see straight into his soul.
Spring's definitely coming now. It's above zero today! (zero Celsius - so it's in the 30's in farenheit) So happy about this. I never want to see winter again. ;-)
Tell Keira I love her the most, and I'm glad she's feeling better. Also, if she leaves her dolls in my room, then they're going to become MY dolls. ;-P And ask Chynna if she got my email last week. I'm not sure if her old email address I used is still good or not.
No, I haven't seen anything to do with teh tax forms. There are no more messages about it in my BYU account that I can find, so it should've been mailed. I'm not sure what else I can do about it. It's good that the insurance claim went through. Paying tithing definitely works! This whole gospel just works. When we honor the commandments and do what we've been asked, everything really does work out, though it rarely works out the way we imagined it happening.
And speaking of things that are working out, Nate sent me a letter last week saying that he's finally made up his mind to give up looking for someone else and just wait for me. Sister Dabb can tell you I'm just twitterpated beyond all reason. I almost don't believe it, though. It's just too good to be true. I'm waiting until his next letter comes before I really let myself believe it (in case the next letter's going to say something like, "Dear Hillary, I fell over and hit my head on a rock the other week and wrote a bunch of nonsense that I can't even remember now, so please disregard that last letter..."). ...I can't even think straight about it. I'm just too crazy about this boy for my own good.
Well, Momma, I need to let Sister Dabb have her turn to write her momma too. So I hope you have a great week, and can't wait to hear from you again. I love you so much!
Work hard, play hard, and pray hard, as always.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Very, very tired. The elders in our zone wanted to get together in Stockholm for some sports today, but Sister Dabb and I thought it over last night, and decided it just wasn't worth it. We'd much rather stay home and take it easy (as much as that's possible) just for once. So that's the plan for the 5 hours of p-day we've got left: do as little as possible. ;-) (One thing I will be doing, though, is finishing Casey's design. It'll be in the mail every soon.)
I am very happy, all the same. Pontus and Bahman are both doing great, and becoming good friends. Pontus is going to help us get Bahman off the cigarettes this week. Bahman's really funny. He's got me set up on this ridiculously high pedestal in his mind. (He doesn't believe me at all when I tell him I was a moody, rebellious teenager. Go ahead and laugh.) Sister Dabb says he just connects best with me. We're both imaginative, emotional, dreamer types, I guess. But anyway, at least once (usually many times) per lesson, he gets this startled look on his face over something I've just said. He keeps asking me if I can read his mind and if I know him better than he does because of the things i say. Apparently he really needs to hear them. I'm just glad that I seem to be getting something right by accident every now and then, but he's convinced that I can see straight into his soul.
Spring's definitely coming now. It's above zero today! (zero Celsius - so it's in the 30's in farenheit) So happy about this. I never want to see winter again. ;-)
Tell Keira I love her the most, and I'm glad she's feeling better. Also, if she leaves her dolls in my room, then they're going to become MY dolls. ;-P And ask Chynna if she got my email last week. I'm not sure if her old email address I used is still good or not.
No, I haven't seen anything to do with teh tax forms. There are no more messages about it in my BYU account that I can find, so it should've been mailed. I'm not sure what else I can do about it. It's good that the insurance claim went through. Paying tithing definitely works! This whole gospel just works. When we honor the commandments and do what we've been asked, everything really does work out, though it rarely works out the way we imagined it happening.
And speaking of things that are working out, Nate sent me a letter last week saying that he's finally made up his mind to give up looking for someone else and just wait for me. Sister Dabb can tell you I'm just twitterpated beyond all reason. I almost don't believe it, though. It's just too good to be true. I'm waiting until his next letter comes before I really let myself believe it (in case the next letter's going to say something like, "Dear Hillary, I fell over and hit my head on a rock the other week and wrote a bunch of nonsense that I can't even remember now, so please disregard that last letter..."). ...I can't even think straight about it. I'm just too crazy about this boy for my own good.
Well, Momma, I need to let Sister Dabb have her turn to write her momma too. So I hope you have a great week, and can't wait to hear from you again. I love you so much!
Work hard, play hard, and pray hard, as always.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: TV Star
Hi, Momma!
Filming for the TV thing was fun. The special's basically a 'day-in-the-life-of...' kind of thing that'll be aired in September. This camera crew followed a member of the Seventy around for three days, recording everything he did. Addressing the Zone Leaders at the mission home was one of those things on his agenda. We (the sisters) got pulled in so the whole thing wouldn't look like a huge stag party. ;-) They did a few interview questions with us and the elders. I doubt they'll include anything Sister Dabb or I had to say, which wasn't much anyway. Mainly they just wanted Sister Dabb and I to sit there and look pretty and let the elders do the talking, since they've been here a lot longer and can speak much better Swedish. Works for me. ;-)
Since the purpose of the meeting was Zone Leader training and we were there all day in need of something to do, President Anderson put Sister Dabb and I to work coming up with a theme and program for a special sisters' training conference that's coming up in a few weeks. We're super excited about it. The conference is going to be all about helping the sisters build confidence in themselves and teaching them how to be confident about receiving help from the Lord (this has been our companionship's personal theme ever since we've been together).
No, the Muslim family in Sundsvall hasn't made any progress. I don't think they're taking lessons anymore. But the elders that are there now told me the eternal investigator couple (Stellan and Eva) is talking about getting baptized soon!
And on that note: Pontus's baptism was absolutely wonderful in every way! There were lots of people present (from the ward, investigators, and other missionaries), the talks and the musical numbers were beautiful (I'd been keeping the fact that I can sing a secret, but now the cat's out of the bag, and I've got the ward choir director chasing after me... whoops), and most of all Pontus was so happy! (And we didn't boil him to death like we did Tobias! Yes, I do think I told Nate about Tobias.) It was completely perfect. The confirmation got a little weird... But it went, and it's all done; he's a legit member now, and he LOVES it! So what made the confirmation so weird? A 90-year-old, 5'2" bottle of crazy sauce named Karl-Erik Eriksson. (Turns out the Franklin Ward doesn't have a monopoly on crazies afterall.) For the most part the members of the ward figure, he's 90 years old and he's earned the right to be insane, so they just let him do what he wants. He stood up after the baptism Saturday, banged on his glass, and started one of his speeches (this happens every time the ward has a get-together of any kind). He told us that Pontus had given him the courage to sing in public again for the first time since the 1930's, and then he proceeded to sing some old jazz tune and dance around a little bit. Yesterday in sacrament meeting, the bishop called Pontus up for his confirmation, then called up the other men. Tee bishop intended to confirm Ponuts himself, but then Karl-Erik stood up and announced to everyone that he should give the blessing because he wants to be Pontus's home teacher. The bishop told him 'no', and the Elders Quorum President got up and tried to explain to Karl-Erik that he is, in fact, NOT Pontus's home teacher. So Pontus just sat up there and stared back at the rest of the ward while all these men stood around him having this huge argument in the middle of sacrament meeting. In the end, Karl-Erik got to give the confirmation, then Pontus came back to his seat next to me and we laughed ourselves silly. (Pontus was cool about the whole thing. The rest of the ward was livid, but he thought it was funny.)
Bahman also loved the baptism, and is giving us all kinds of hints now on things we need to help him with so he can prepare to join the church too. On that note, we're going to be working on coffee and smoking addiction recovery soon. Does Rich have anything to say that might be helpful in getting over the coffee addiction? I think we'll tackle that one first. (We also found out that Karl-Erik introduced himself to Bahman Saturday and told him that he should be the one to baptize and confirm him... We're getting this guy a leash when we do our shopping this afternoon.)
Wish Dad-Dad a happy birthday for me, please.
And if you do send a package, the only real request I have would be pictures.
I hope you and the rest of the family have a wonderful week. I'm always praying for you. I love you the most. ;-)
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Filming for the TV thing was fun. The special's basically a 'day-in-the-life-of...' kind of thing that'll be aired in September. This camera crew followed a member of the Seventy around for three days, recording everything he did. Addressing the Zone Leaders at the mission home was one of those things on his agenda. We (the sisters) got pulled in so the whole thing wouldn't look like a huge stag party. ;-) They did a few interview questions with us and the elders. I doubt they'll include anything Sister Dabb or I had to say, which wasn't much anyway. Mainly they just wanted Sister Dabb and I to sit there and look pretty and let the elders do the talking, since they've been here a lot longer and can speak much better Swedish. Works for me. ;-)
Since the purpose of the meeting was Zone Leader training and we were there all day in need of something to do, President Anderson put Sister Dabb and I to work coming up with a theme and program for a special sisters' training conference that's coming up in a few weeks. We're super excited about it. The conference is going to be all about helping the sisters build confidence in themselves and teaching them how to be confident about receiving help from the Lord (this has been our companionship's personal theme ever since we've been together).
No, the Muslim family in Sundsvall hasn't made any progress. I don't think they're taking lessons anymore. But the elders that are there now told me the eternal investigator couple (Stellan and Eva) is talking about getting baptized soon!
And on that note: Pontus's baptism was absolutely wonderful in every way! There were lots of people present (from the ward, investigators, and other missionaries), the talks and the musical numbers were beautiful (I'd been keeping the fact that I can sing a secret, but now the cat's out of the bag, and I've got the ward choir director chasing after me... whoops), and most of all Pontus was so happy! (And we didn't boil him to death like we did Tobias! Yes, I do think I told Nate about Tobias.) It was completely perfect. The confirmation got a little weird... But it went, and it's all done; he's a legit member now, and he LOVES it! So what made the confirmation so weird? A 90-year-old, 5'2" bottle of crazy sauce named Karl-Erik Eriksson. (Turns out the Franklin Ward doesn't have a monopoly on crazies afterall.) For the most part the members of the ward figure, he's 90 years old and he's earned the right to be insane, so they just let him do what he wants. He stood up after the baptism Saturday, banged on his glass, and started one of his speeches (this happens every time the ward has a get-together of any kind). He told us that Pontus had given him the courage to sing in public again for the first time since the 1930's, and then he proceeded to sing some old jazz tune and dance around a little bit. Yesterday in sacrament meeting, the bishop called Pontus up for his confirmation, then called up the other men. Tee bishop intended to confirm Ponuts himself, but then Karl-Erik stood up and announced to everyone that he should give the blessing because he wants to be Pontus's home teacher. The bishop told him 'no', and the Elders Quorum President got up and tried to explain to Karl-Erik that he is, in fact, NOT Pontus's home teacher. So Pontus just sat up there and stared back at the rest of the ward while all these men stood around him having this huge argument in the middle of sacrament meeting. In the end, Karl-Erik got to give the confirmation, then Pontus came back to his seat next to me and we laughed ourselves silly. (Pontus was cool about the whole thing. The rest of the ward was livid, but he thought it was funny.)
Bahman also loved the baptism, and is giving us all kinds of hints now on things we need to help him with so he can prepare to join the church too. On that note, we're going to be working on coffee and smoking addiction recovery soon. Does Rich have anything to say that might be helpful in getting over the coffee addiction? I think we'll tackle that one first. (We also found out that Karl-Erik introduced himself to Bahman Saturday and told him that he should be the one to baptize and confirm him... We're getting this guy a leash when we do our shopping this afternoon.)
Wish Dad-Dad a happy birthday for me, please.
And if you do send a package, the only real request I have would be pictures.
I hope you and the rest of the family have a wonderful week. I'm always praying for you. I love you the most. ;-)
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Hi, Momma!
First of all, your prayers for my success here are really being heard and answered. Things are going so well!
We're preparing for Pontus's baptism this Saturday, and we'll have 3 other investigators (who will probably be baptized very soon) attending.
Things are super-well with our Iranian friend Bahman. He asked us to teach him about the Word of Wisdom and Law of Chastity last night. As awkward as that might sound (a 60-year-old Middle-Eastern man more or less asking two 20-odd year-old American girls to give him 'The Talk'), it was actually really great. He just wants so badly to be good, and wants to know all the commandments at once so he can keep them all. His faith is growing so fast. I'm positive he's going to be baptized soon (he's trying to be sneaky and talk about baptism hypothetically, but he's definitely thinking about it a lot).
I don't know whether or not I've mentioned Matthew and Asa yet. They're a young married couple we met about 2-3 weeks ago. Matthew's from Missouri, and Asa's Swedish. They just decided to start believing in Christianity about a year ago, and now they're looking for the right church for them. Matthew heard a little about our church, and liked what he'd heard. So he prayed and asked about it one night, we approached him on the street the very next day! Of course, we haven't known them very long, but they're becoming fast friends with the other young adults in the ward, they're reading the Book of Mormon, and praying about it and the church. They really want to know if this is right for them, and they're doing everything they're supposed to, which gives me every confidence that they are going to get their answer.
These two weeks are turning out to be filled with some really interesting, fun things. Last week, Sister Dabb and I got to usher in the new Greenies and do a little training with them. We took them out contacting on the street, and it was so funny. They were all so jet-lagged and so scared (just like I'm sure we were 5 months ago). It was kind of strange being on the other end of it. It gave me a nice confidence boost, since it highlighted just how far I've come with the language and speaking skills since I arrived. And tomorrow we're going back down to Stockholm to be interviewed (along with a handful of others the mission president's picked out) for a TV special on the LDS church. That means we're going to be on Swedish national TV. AAAH!
Pass on my congrats to Rich for his awards and the raises at work. That's really awesome! Let him know I think he's great. He really does so much good, hard work for this family. I have a lot of love and respect for him. And I'm very proud of Keira's coloring award too. Maybe she'll turn out to be an artist like me. :-) Show them both a little extra love on my behalf.
I do pray for all of you. I hope you're well, and that you're finding happiness in little things each day. I love you so much, and I know Heavenly Father does too.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
First of all, your prayers for my success here are really being heard and answered. Things are going so well!
We're preparing for Pontus's baptism this Saturday, and we'll have 3 other investigators (who will probably be baptized very soon) attending.
Things are super-well with our Iranian friend Bahman. He asked us to teach him about the Word of Wisdom and Law of Chastity last night. As awkward as that might sound (a 60-year-old Middle-Eastern man more or less asking two 20-odd year-old American girls to give him 'The Talk'), it was actually really great. He just wants so badly to be good, and wants to know all the commandments at once so he can keep them all. His faith is growing so fast. I'm positive he's going to be baptized soon (he's trying to be sneaky and talk about baptism hypothetically, but he's definitely thinking about it a lot).
I don't know whether or not I've mentioned Matthew and Asa yet. They're a young married couple we met about 2-3 weeks ago. Matthew's from Missouri, and Asa's Swedish. They just decided to start believing in Christianity about a year ago, and now they're looking for the right church for them. Matthew heard a little about our church, and liked what he'd heard. So he prayed and asked about it one night, we approached him on the street the very next day! Of course, we haven't known them very long, but they're becoming fast friends with the other young adults in the ward, they're reading the Book of Mormon, and praying about it and the church. They really want to know if this is right for them, and they're doing everything they're supposed to, which gives me every confidence that they are going to get their answer.
These two weeks are turning out to be filled with some really interesting, fun things. Last week, Sister Dabb and I got to usher in the new Greenies and do a little training with them. We took them out contacting on the street, and it was so funny. They were all so jet-lagged and so scared (just like I'm sure we were 5 months ago). It was kind of strange being on the other end of it. It gave me a nice confidence boost, since it highlighted just how far I've come with the language and speaking skills since I arrived. And tomorrow we're going back down to Stockholm to be interviewed (along with a handful of others the mission president's picked out) for a TV special on the LDS church. That means we're going to be on Swedish national TV. AAAH!
Pass on my congrats to Rich for his awards and the raises at work. That's really awesome! Let him know I think he's great. He really does so much good, hard work for this family. I have a lot of love and respect for him. And I'm very proud of Keira's coloring award too. Maybe she'll turn out to be an artist like me. :-) Show them both a little extra love on my behalf.
I do pray for all of you. I hope you're well, and that you're finding happiness in little things each day. I love you so much, and I know Heavenly Father does too.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Re: Just Mom
Hi, Momma!
First, thank you and Rich for taking care of those credit card payments. I'm so grateful. If you want to try to email next Monday, I think we'll probably be checking emails from 12-2 in the afternoon, which is 6-8 am for you.
I'm glad you're still in touch with Nate. He sends me so many letters. He makes my whole day better every time one comes. I feel awful that I can't get more letters to him. He should be getting two from me soon, thought. I put them in the mail last week. I'm working on a letter to Dusty now. It's so hard to find things to say - I haven't had a real conversation with the boy since I had baby teeth.
No, I haven't seen the Northern Lights. I don't think I will, sine I've already been as far north as I'll ever go, and moved on. Was there some kind of big light showing last week or something?
Even without the Northern Lights, thought, it's pretty amazing just to see the sun again. Daylight's back to it's normal hours, which is amazing and wonderful! I will never doubt again - human NEED light in order to be healthy, both in the body and in the spirit. Without changing anything else, just the gradual return of the sun has made it easier to be happy and out-going and faithful, about work and life in general. Now we get to watch as the the daylight moves to the extreme in the other direction - light all day and night, with just a few hours where the sun sits below the horizon. Did you know that at the north pole, there's only one sunrise and one sunset for the entire year? The sun rises in the spring and just circles around the sky all summer until it sets in the fall, and then it doesn't come back until the next spring. Just something cool I learned this week. ;-)
Anyway, I'm thrilled to announce that Sister Dabb and I get to satay in Uppsala together until May! We got our transfer assignments yesterday morning, and we were completely shocked because it just doesn't make sense for us to stay together. There are 4 sisters who have been in the mission longer than we have, and four that just finished their greenie transfer. Add two new greenies to that, which each need a trainer, and the only thing that made sense was for the two remaining older sisters, Sister Dabb, and I to each take a younger girl as a junior companion. But President Anderson apparently got a really strong impression that Sister Dabb and I needed to stay together in Uppsala, so the two older girls have to take on two junior companions each. That's a whole lost of craziness just to keep Sister Dabb and me in Uppsala, which means there are some REALLY good reasons for us specifically to be here.
The work we're doing here is going really well too. We have a baptism next Saturday (Pontus is his name - he's a 21-year-old Swede). Super excited about that! He's shown me that there really are people who are prepared for this gospel and want it, and those are the people we're here to find. We don't have to beat our heads (or anyone else's) against the wall, trying to convince them that this is right. We didn't have to convince Pontus to do any of these things we ask - he just wants to. He loves this gospel! Then there's Bahman - an older man from Iran. He's had a hard life, but as we've met with him, we've seen more and more light come into him. He absolutely loves us, and loves how much happier he feels now that he's reading the Book of Mormon and learned how to pray. He makes our day every time we see him. He came to church all on his own (totally surprised us!) last Sunday, and loved that too. He's got a long way to go, but he's got a lot of faith, and it's getting stronger every day. I really believe he will be baptized this year - maybe by May, if everything keeps going so well. And then there's Matthew and Asa. Matthew's from Missouri, and ended up married to a beautiful Swedish girl (Asa). They just decided to start believing in Christ about a year ago, and they're looking for the right church for them. We walked up to Matthew on the street less than 24 hours after he'd prayed and asked if maybe the Mormon church could be right for them (he'd heard a little bit, and liked what he'd heard). He took that as a sign, and so do we. They're great, and I think they could definitely be baptized within a month or two.
I love seeing the things Heavenly Father does (and the little things we manage to do sometimes) change people's lives. It's amazing, and it's beautiful. I'm so happy that I get to take part. Thank you for helping me do this. I pray for Heavenly Father to pour out blessings on you for that every day. I love you.
Love, Syster Hillary Kiser
First, thank you and Rich for taking care of those credit card payments. I'm so grateful. If you want to try to email next Monday, I think we'll probably be checking emails from 12-2 in the afternoon, which is 6-8 am for you.
I'm glad you're still in touch with Nate. He sends me so many letters. He makes my whole day better every time one comes. I feel awful that I can't get more letters to him. He should be getting two from me soon, thought. I put them in the mail last week. I'm working on a letter to Dusty now. It's so hard to find things to say - I haven't had a real conversation with the boy since I had baby teeth.
No, I haven't seen the Northern Lights. I don't think I will, sine I've already been as far north as I'll ever go, and moved on. Was there some kind of big light showing last week or something?
Even without the Northern Lights, thought, it's pretty amazing just to see the sun again. Daylight's back to it's normal hours, which is amazing and wonderful! I will never doubt again - human NEED light in order to be healthy, both in the body and in the spirit. Without changing anything else, just the gradual return of the sun has made it easier to be happy and out-going and faithful, about work and life in general. Now we get to watch as the the daylight moves to the extreme in the other direction - light all day and night, with just a few hours where the sun sits below the horizon. Did you know that at the north pole, there's only one sunrise and one sunset for the entire year? The sun rises in the spring and just circles around the sky all summer until it sets in the fall, and then it doesn't come back until the next spring. Just something cool I learned this week. ;-)
Anyway, I'm thrilled to announce that Sister Dabb and I get to satay in Uppsala together until May! We got our transfer assignments yesterday morning, and we were completely shocked because it just doesn't make sense for us to stay together. There are 4 sisters who have been in the mission longer than we have, and four that just finished their greenie transfer. Add two new greenies to that, which each need a trainer, and the only thing that made sense was for the two remaining older sisters, Sister Dabb, and I to each take a younger girl as a junior companion. But President Anderson apparently got a really strong impression that Sister Dabb and I needed to stay together in Uppsala, so the two older girls have to take on two junior companions each. That's a whole lost of craziness just to keep Sister Dabb and me in Uppsala, which means there are some REALLY good reasons for us specifically to be here.
The work we're doing here is going really well too. We have a baptism next Saturday (Pontus is his name - he's a 21-year-old Swede). Super excited about that! He's shown me that there really are people who are prepared for this gospel and want it, and those are the people we're here to find. We don't have to beat our heads (or anyone else's) against the wall, trying to convince them that this is right. We didn't have to convince Pontus to do any of these things we ask - he just wants to. He loves this gospel! Then there's Bahman - an older man from Iran. He's had a hard life, but as we've met with him, we've seen more and more light come into him. He absolutely loves us, and loves how much happier he feels now that he's reading the Book of Mormon and learned how to pray. He makes our day every time we see him. He came to church all on his own (totally surprised us!) last Sunday, and loved that too. He's got a long way to go, but he's got a lot of faith, and it's getting stronger every day. I really believe he will be baptized this year - maybe by May, if everything keeps going so well. And then there's Matthew and Asa. Matthew's from Missouri, and ended up married to a beautiful Swedish girl (Asa). They just decided to start believing in Christ about a year ago, and they're looking for the right church for them. We walked up to Matthew on the street less than 24 hours after he'd prayed and asked if maybe the Mormon church could be right for them (he'd heard a little bit, and liked what he'd heard). He took that as a sign, and so do we. They're great, and I think they could definitely be baptized within a month or two.
I love seeing the things Heavenly Father does (and the little things we manage to do sometimes) change people's lives. It's amazing, and it's beautiful. I'm so happy that I get to take part. Thank you for helping me do this. I pray for Heavenly Father to pour out blessings on you for that every day. I love you.
Love, Syster Hillary Kiser
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Re: Love you!
Hej hej, Momma.
I did take some classes at the beginning of 2010. I just went of the BYU website and found out that you didn't get any tax forms because there was this notice sitting in my account since January wanting to know if I wanted an electronic or paper copy. I opted for the paper copy, and hopefully it'll be in the mail to you soon-ish.
I'll try to get something written for Dusty soon. I'm really having a hard time getting letters done lately. Nate probably thinks I've died by now. He's sent me several letters over the last month, and I can't get anything written to send back to him.
I'm glad the wristbands have done so much good for the soccer team. I got mine the week before last. Thanks for sending it.
Momma, some of the people you're feeling resentful towards for not being there might not have even known about Casey's death. And if they did... Well, sometimes people just don't know what to do TO help. There was so much help and support that came from all over; just try to focus on that and be grateful for the support that DID come. Being angry at the people who didn't help doesn't do any good at all.
Our transfer's coming next week, so you won't get an email from me on Monday. Syster Dabb and I really want to stay together, but it's probably not going to happen. There are too many 'young' sisters, and not enough 'older' ones, so we'll probably be split up and given junior companions. Scary. This is all just guess-work, of course. We won't know anything for sure until next Tuesday. We do know, however, that we're getting a new Mission President in July. The call's been made official, so you can probably see something about that in the church news somewhere.
...I can't pretend it wouldn't be nice to have the car when I get back. But we'll worry about that when I get home. For all we know, it could fall apart or get totaled by then. (That just might be easier than fighting with Chynna over it.) Thank you very much for the money. I appreciate it a lot.
I need to finish here. We and a few elders spent half the day at a museum for this 17th century war ship that sunk in the harbor just out of Stockholm, then got pulled up and restored. It was pretty cool, but the downside is, of course, that p-day is almost over.
I hope you have a great week. I love you so much.
Please wish Keira a happy birthday from me! :-)
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
I did take some classes at the beginning of 2010. I just went of the BYU website and found out that you didn't get any tax forms because there was this notice sitting in my account since January wanting to know if I wanted an electronic or paper copy. I opted for the paper copy, and hopefully it'll be in the mail to you soon-ish.
I'll try to get something written for Dusty soon. I'm really having a hard time getting letters done lately. Nate probably thinks I've died by now. He's sent me several letters over the last month, and I can't get anything written to send back to him.
I'm glad the wristbands have done so much good for the soccer team. I got mine the week before last. Thanks for sending it.
Momma, some of the people you're feeling resentful towards for not being there might not have even known about Casey's death. And if they did... Well, sometimes people just don't know what to do TO help. There was so much help and support that came from all over; just try to focus on that and be grateful for the support that DID come. Being angry at the people who didn't help doesn't do any good at all.
Our transfer's coming next week, so you won't get an email from me on Monday. Syster Dabb and I really want to stay together, but it's probably not going to happen. There are too many 'young' sisters, and not enough 'older' ones, so we'll probably be split up and given junior companions. Scary. This is all just guess-work, of course. We won't know anything for sure until next Tuesday. We do know, however, that we're getting a new Mission President in July. The call's been made official, so you can probably see something about that in the church news somewhere.
...I can't pretend it wouldn't be nice to have the car when I get back. But we'll worry about that when I get home. For all we know, it could fall apart or get totaled by then. (That just might be easier than fighting with Chynna over it.) Thank you very much for the money. I appreciate it a lot.
I need to finish here. We and a few elders spent half the day at a museum for this 17th century war ship that sunk in the harbor just out of Stockholm, then got pulled up and restored. It was pretty cool, but the downside is, of course, that p-day is almost over.
I hope you have a great week. I love you so much.
Please wish Keira a happy birthday from me! :-)
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Happy Valentines Day!
Part 3
Dear Keira,
Thank you so much for your message! I've missed you so much, and I'm so happy that I get to talk to you.
You better not be putting your toys in my and Casey's room. If you do, I'll hang you up by your toes in the tree out in the yard. Everyone will think you're a funny looking Christmas tree ornament. ;-P
I love your jokes. They're getting funnier all the time.
Mommy said you're going to be in the gifted class. That's really good! You're so smart, and we're all really proud of you. I was in gifted, and I liked it a lot. We got to do fun things that the regular classes didn't. I hope you can read me all kinds of big kid books when I get home.
Take extra good care of Mommy and Daddy this week (especially because it's their anniversary AND Mommy's birthday). And I hope your birthday next week is super fun! What kind of cake is MomMom going to make for you?
Give Mommy and Daddy and MomMom each a big hug and a kiss from me, okay?
I love you the most!
Syster Hillary Kiser
Dear Keira,
Thank you so much for your message! I've missed you so much, and I'm so happy that I get to talk to you.
You better not be putting your toys in my and Casey's room. If you do, I'll hang you up by your toes in the tree out in the yard. Everyone will think you're a funny looking Christmas tree ornament. ;-P
I love your jokes. They're getting funnier all the time.
Mommy said you're going to be in the gifted class. That's really good! You're so smart, and we're all really proud of you. I was in gifted, and I liked it a lot. We got to do fun things that the regular classes didn't. I hope you can read me all kinds of big kid books when I get home.
Take extra good care of Mommy and Daddy this week (especially because it's their anniversary AND Mommy's birthday). And I hope your birthday next week is super fun! What kind of cake is MomMom going to make for you?
Give Mommy and Daddy and MomMom each a big hug and a kiss from me, okay?
I love you the most!
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Happy Valentines Day!
Part 2
I'm glad 'our' talk went well. Mostly I'm just glad the things I sent could help a little bit. I'm really amazed by how Heavenly Father keeps taking the things that happen in my life and building upon them, using them over and over. I saw how things I learned at MawMaw's death helped me prepare to cope with Casey's. I'm seeing how Casey's death has taught me things that I need to share with the people I'm teaching now. In the last two months, I've had three investigators trying to cope with deaths in their families. The Lord really can take ANYTHING and turn it for our good and the good of others. I'm so very grateful for that.
No, we haven't seen any new baptisms yet. Tobias is still my first and only. But we've got a date set for our friend Pontus's baptism now. He's really excited, and so are we. We'll have a transfer about a week before the baptism, so it's hard to say whether or not I'll get to see it. If one of us has to go, I'd rather have Syster Dabb stay, since she's still waiting to see her first baptism. We're both hoping we get to stay here together a little longer. We've got a lot of great investigators here that we love working with, so hopefully our time's not up so soon.
I love you very much, Momma. I hope your birthday and your trip to the temple are just wonderful. Take care.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
I'm glad 'our' talk went well. Mostly I'm just glad the things I sent could help a little bit. I'm really amazed by how Heavenly Father keeps taking the things that happen in my life and building upon them, using them over and over. I saw how things I learned at MawMaw's death helped me prepare to cope with Casey's. I'm seeing how Casey's death has taught me things that I need to share with the people I'm teaching now. In the last two months, I've had three investigators trying to cope with deaths in their families. The Lord really can take ANYTHING and turn it for our good and the good of others. I'm so very grateful for that.
No, we haven't seen any new baptisms yet. Tobias is still my first and only. But we've got a date set for our friend Pontus's baptism now. He's really excited, and so are we. We'll have a transfer about a week before the baptism, so it's hard to say whether or not I'll get to see it. If one of us has to go, I'd rather have Syster Dabb stay, since she's still waiting to see her first baptism. We're both hoping we get to stay here together a little longer. We've got a lot of great investigators here that we love working with, so hopefully our time's not up so soon.
I love you very much, Momma. I hope your birthday and your trip to the temple are just wonderful. Take care.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Happy Valentines Day!
Part 1
Dear Momma,
Happy Valentines Day! Happy Anniversary! and... Happy Birthday! It's been a pretty good morning here. My companion surprised me with a plate of crepes for breakfast and covered the kitchen in hearts.
I'm glad Chynna's doing well with school and soccer. (Wish her a happy late birthday for me, kay? Let her know I didn't forget her birthday; I just can't remember her email address.) Just try to be happy for her in her strengths and successes. At least her grades don't look like mine. You can be grateful for that. ;)
I've been wanting to write to Dusty and PawPaw lately, but wasn't really sure what address to find Dusty at. How long will he be home?
I'm working on a few designs that you could put on Casey's stone. It just occurred to me how good it will be to have his stone set on Memorial Day, since that's the week of his birthday. I know, I'm a little slow sometimes. But I'll definitely have something sent to you before the end of March.
Dear Momma,
Happy Valentines Day! Happy Anniversary! and... Happy Birthday! It's been a pretty good morning here. My companion surprised me with a plate of crepes for breakfast and covered the kitchen in hearts.
I'm glad Chynna's doing well with school and soccer. (Wish her a happy late birthday for me, kay? Let her know I didn't forget her birthday; I just can't remember her email address.) Just try to be happy for her in her strengths and successes. At least her grades don't look like mine. You can be grateful for that. ;)
I've been wanting to write to Dusty and PawPaw lately, but wasn't really sure what address to find Dusty at. How long will he be home?
I'm working on a few designs that you could put on Casey's stone. It just occurred to me how good it will be to have his stone set on Memorial Day, since that's the week of his birthday. I know, I'm a little slow sometimes. But I'll definitely have something sent to you before the end of March.
Friday, May 27, 2011
This week's email (part 1)
This week's email also keeps bouncing back to me. Trying again...
Dear Momma,
I think I sent last week's email to you 3 times, and it kept bouncing back to me. Did you get it at all? I'll sen a copy of it off one more time just in case.
Could Jeremiah's new area be Springville? That's really close to Provo. I understand where he's coming from - I think practically all missionaries have at least one or two areas (if not all of them) that they really fall in love with. I would've been content to stay in Sundsvall my entire mission. It's tough, but I think it means we're doing something right. We're supposed to love the people. It's hard giving everything you've got to someone, loving them, struggling over them, and watching them grow, and then saying a quick goodbye and taking off (and even that quick goodbye is kind of a luxury we miss more often than not). There's very little closure with this work.
I'd love to draw something for Casey's gravestone. It may take me a little while (a week or two), but I'll come up with something. Would you like the sword and shield together or separate?
Dear Momma,
I think I sent last week's email to you 3 times, and it kept bouncing back to me. Did you get it at all? I'll sen a copy of it off one more time just in case.
Could Jeremiah's new area be Springville? That's really close to Provo. I understand where he's coming from - I think practically all missionaries have at least one or two areas (if not all of them) that they really fall in love with. I would've been content to stay in Sundsvall my entire mission. It's tough, but I think it means we're doing something right. We're supposed to love the people. It's hard giving everything you've got to someone, loving them, struggling over them, and watching them grow, and then saying a quick goodbye and taking off (and even that quick goodbye is kind of a luxury we miss more often than not). There's very little closure with this work.
I'd love to draw something for Casey's gravestone. It may take me a little while (a week or two), but I'll come up with something. Would you like the sword and shield together or separate?
Re: re-sending THIS week's email (part 1)
Things are going pretty well for our investigators. We have one young man (Pontus) with a baptismal date set, and two others (a teenaged boy from Mongolia named Bilgun and a Swedish woman named Cecilia) who could set their dates any day now. Syster Dabb and I are just trying to practice patience because WE know they're ready, but they need to make the decisions for themselves (especially Cecilia - she's very independent). We have another investigator that just makes our whole lives better every time we see him. His name's Bahman, and he's a middle-aged man from Iran. The first time we met him, he was one of the saddest people I'd ever seen - just totally torn down and beaten by life. But each time we've met him in these past few weeks, he's been happier, and visibly healthier. We've got a long way to go with him, but we can actually SEE that he has changed in just these few weeks we've been with him. This gospel actually DOES change and heal people. Isn't that a miracle?
Well, Momma, my time's running out. I hope you have a wonderful week, filled with your own miracles and mercies. Remember that I love you.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Well, Momma, my time's running out. I hope you have a wonderful week, filled with your own miracles and mercies. Remember that I love you.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Going to bed!
Hi, Momma.
I'm glad you got the packages, more or less in tact. What was damaged? I'm losing all my faith in the postal system. I'm glad Keira loves the fairy. Give her a hug and a kiss from me, kay?
Once again, my companionship's been changed up. We're no longer a 'tri-panionship.' The senior companion was transferred to go train a new short-term missionary, so Syster Dabb (my MTC companion) and I have been left with Uppsala all to ourselves. ...And we LOVE it! We're trying to make the most of this time we have to learn for ourselves, instead of just following the 'older' companion's lead all the time. Sure, we may make a lot of mistakes, but it's fun. We can laugh it off and keep going. I adore Syster Dabb. Being her companion again has helped me feel lighter and brighter than I have for weeks and weeks.
I realize it's been a long time since I've really talked about how the work's going over here. Uppsala's a really interesting area. The ward is really tiny and really weak. Syster Dabb told us when we first arrived that the area was going to close for missionaries, but about a week before that would've happened, a boy moved into the area who had been meeting with other missionaries, and he was ready to get baptized. So the area stayed open and we moved down from Sundsvall just for the sake of this one boy's baptism (which hasn't happened yet, but we're working on it). And in that one week, everything changed. After months and months of no progress at all, people who wanted to learn more about the church just started coming out of the woodwork. We're working with three people who want to be baptized soon (we're aiming to have those happen before February's over) and a few others who could do the same if things go really well. In short, the work's wonderful.
I've been thinking a lot about the things you've said and felt about Chynna lately. I found a book in the ward library that I think might help. I read it this week, and I found some valuable insights in it. It's called "When A Child Wanders," by Robert L. Millet. You can find it through Deseret Book. And I want to suggest something that one of my leaders here shared with me. He explained to me that it's not fair for us to measure success by other people's outcomes. He told me that my investigator's decisions (or the decisions my friend or future children make) don't determine whether or not I have been a good and successful missionary (or friend or parent). He suggested that maybe I need to measure my success simply by what I put into these relationships, rather than what comes out of them. He reminded me that Christ was the perfect Master Teacher, but even He was misunderstood and His teachings were rejected. Is Christ's mission make less perfect or his atonement less infinite by the fact that not everyone He came to save will let Him save them? The fact is, sometimes we DO know that there is a better way. We DO know that there are better choices that would give the people we love greater happiness. But Heavenly Father doesn't force His will upon us, and we shouldn't try to force it one anyone else. happiness and agency are inseparable. The Plan of Happiness revolves all around agency. Every commandment the Lord gives us is safeguard against things that rob us of agency. The purpose of Christ's atonement was to make total free agency possible. Lucifer's obsession always was and still is subjecting us to his will (whether to our exaltation or damnation), and for that reason I'm really trying hard right now to break this habit I have of wanting to MAKE people be good and trying to MAKE people be happy. I'm trying to learn how to just show love and be at peace, no matter what the people I love may choose. I'm hoping that in this way I can show my trust that the Lord will keep His promises and make all things right in the end.
And I think I've lectured long enough now. I hope something in all that is helpful to you. Whether it is or isn't, just know that I love you.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
P.S. I'm just going to throw a suggestion out. I've spoken a few times with the mission therapist here since Casey passed away. It's given me an opportunity to just think out loud and have someone who can act as a 'sounding board' for me to talk at while I figure out how I think and feel about things. Sometimes I don't really know what I think about something until I hear myself say it. So I feel like it's done a lot of good for me. Especially because this is someone I don't have a personal connection to, so I don't have to worry about what he thinks, and I can just be honest. Have you considered asking the bishop or stake president if there's someone like that in the stake? It's not a matter of trying to 'fix' something that's broken, or getting analyzed and then getting all the answers to the problems. It just helps, I think, to have some help talking things out from someone who knows how to do that.
P.S.S. I just got a notice that I've got an overdue credit card payment.
I'm glad you got the packages, more or less in tact. What was damaged? I'm losing all my faith in the postal system. I'm glad Keira loves the fairy. Give her a hug and a kiss from me, kay?
Once again, my companionship's been changed up. We're no longer a 'tri-panionship.' The senior companion was transferred to go train a new short-term missionary, so Syster Dabb (my MTC companion) and I have been left with Uppsala all to ourselves. ...And we LOVE it! We're trying to make the most of this time we have to learn for ourselves, instead of just following the 'older' companion's lead all the time. Sure, we may make a lot of mistakes, but it's fun. We can laugh it off and keep going. I adore Syster Dabb. Being her companion again has helped me feel lighter and brighter than I have for weeks and weeks.
I realize it's been a long time since I've really talked about how the work's going over here. Uppsala's a really interesting area. The ward is really tiny and really weak. Syster Dabb told us when we first arrived that the area was going to close for missionaries, but about a week before that would've happened, a boy moved into the area who had been meeting with other missionaries, and he was ready to get baptized. So the area stayed open and we moved down from Sundsvall just for the sake of this one boy's baptism (which hasn't happened yet, but we're working on it). And in that one week, everything changed. After months and months of no progress at all, people who wanted to learn more about the church just started coming out of the woodwork. We're working with three people who want to be baptized soon (we're aiming to have those happen before February's over) and a few others who could do the same if things go really well. In short, the work's wonderful.
I've been thinking a lot about the things you've said and felt about Chynna lately. I found a book in the ward library that I think might help. I read it this week, and I found some valuable insights in it. It's called "When A Child Wanders," by Robert L. Millet. You can find it through Deseret Book. And I want to suggest something that one of my leaders here shared with me. He explained to me that it's not fair for us to measure success by other people's outcomes. He told me that my investigator's decisions (or the decisions my friend or future children make) don't determine whether or not I have been a good and successful missionary (or friend or parent). He suggested that maybe I need to measure my success simply by what I put into these relationships, rather than what comes out of them. He reminded me that Christ was the perfect Master Teacher, but even He was misunderstood and His teachings were rejected. Is Christ's mission make less perfect or his atonement less infinite by the fact that not everyone He came to save will let Him save them? The fact is, sometimes we DO know that there is a better way. We DO know that there are better choices that would give the people we love greater happiness. But Heavenly Father doesn't force His will upon us, and we shouldn't try to force it one anyone else. happiness and agency are inseparable. The Plan of Happiness revolves all around agency. Every commandment the Lord gives us is safeguard against things that rob us of agency. The purpose of Christ's atonement was to make total free agency possible. Lucifer's obsession always was and still is subjecting us to his will (whether to our exaltation or damnation), and for that reason I'm really trying hard right now to break this habit I have of wanting to MAKE people be good and trying to MAKE people be happy. I'm trying to learn how to just show love and be at peace, no matter what the people I love may choose. I'm hoping that in this way I can show my trust that the Lord will keep His promises and make all things right in the end.
And I think I've lectured long enough now. I hope something in all that is helpful to you. Whether it is or isn't, just know that I love you.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
P.S. I'm just going to throw a suggestion out. I've spoken a few times with the mission therapist here since Casey passed away. It's given me an opportunity to just think out loud and have someone who can act as a 'sounding board' for me to talk at while I figure out how I think and feel about things. Sometimes I don't really know what I think about something until I hear myself say it. So I feel like it's done a lot of good for me. Especially because this is someone I don't have a personal connection to, so I don't have to worry about what he thinks, and I can just be honest. Have you considered asking the bishop or stake president if there's someone like that in the stake? It's not a matter of trying to 'fix' something that's broken, or getting analyzed and then getting all the answers to the problems. It just helps, I think, to have some help talking things out from someone who knows how to do that.
P.S.S. I just got a notice that I've got an overdue credit card payment.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Re: Mom again!
Hi, Momma.
As for the gifts... You know I don't listen very well. ;-) I probably won't send many more since it is a little pricey, but you know I can't help spoiling Keira just a little.
Working with a trio is very different, but I think I like it. I think it's definitely helped me at this stage. I really love Sister Dabb, and I'm thrilled to be her companion again. She's a middle ground between me and Sister Maxwell, so it helps us all get along better.
I know I've been spoiled thusfar - a car, private computers, a really nice apartment (the Sundsvall apartment was the newest in the mission)... At least it's not as cold down here. The temperatures have been right around the freezing point, some days it's melting, some days it's not. I'm amazed that 'just freezing' actually feels pretty nice to me now. (Did I tell you that it was -20F at Christmas?)
I don't mind you emailing Nate. I told him in my last letter that I really appreciate him wanting to help my family. I just want to know what's being said. You've got way too much dirt on me. ;-)
I'm really happy for Darla, and that's really wonderful that you got to see her at the temple. I kind of turned into a temple junkie out there in Utah. I really miss getting to go now. I'm glad you're getting to go. Keep going for me. It would really be wonderful to have Dad and Danita in the temple with us when we do Casey and Maw-Maw's work. I'd love that.
Casey's headstone sounds great. He would like that, I think. As for the court case... I honestly believe that we HAVE to forgive the people responsible, Mom. If you seek retribution, I wonder if you'll ever be able to let go of the anger. If you seek retribution, you're never going to heal. Ruining someone else's life won't bring Casey back to us, and it won't improve our situation. Nate was right - that anger we feel is like cancer. We can't keep it. If we do, we're the ones it's going to destroy. And that doesn't help Casey either.
This time limit thing is really obnoxious. I have to go. I love you very much, Momma. Please take care, and pass my love on to everyone else.
Love,
Syster Hillar Kiser
P.S. Don't forget to pray.
As for the gifts... You know I don't listen very well. ;-) I probably won't send many more since it is a little pricey, but you know I can't help spoiling Keira just a little.
Working with a trio is very different, but I think I like it. I think it's definitely helped me at this stage. I really love Sister Dabb, and I'm thrilled to be her companion again. She's a middle ground between me and Sister Maxwell, so it helps us all get along better.
I know I've been spoiled thusfar - a car, private computers, a really nice apartment (the Sundsvall apartment was the newest in the mission)... At least it's not as cold down here. The temperatures have been right around the freezing point, some days it's melting, some days it's not. I'm amazed that 'just freezing' actually feels pretty nice to me now. (Did I tell you that it was -20F at Christmas?)
I don't mind you emailing Nate. I told him in my last letter that I really appreciate him wanting to help my family. I just want to know what's being said. You've got way too much dirt on me. ;-)
I'm really happy for Darla, and that's really wonderful that you got to see her at the temple. I kind of turned into a temple junkie out there in Utah. I really miss getting to go now. I'm glad you're getting to go. Keep going for me. It would really be wonderful to have Dad and Danita in the temple with us when we do Casey and Maw-Maw's work. I'd love that.
Casey's headstone sounds great. He would like that, I think. As for the court case... I honestly believe that we HAVE to forgive the people responsible, Mom. If you seek retribution, I wonder if you'll ever be able to let go of the anger. If you seek retribution, you're never going to heal. Ruining someone else's life won't bring Casey back to us, and it won't improve our situation. Nate was right - that anger we feel is like cancer. We can't keep it. If we do, we're the ones it's going to destroy. And that doesn't help Casey either.
This time limit thing is really obnoxious. I have to go. I love you very much, Momma. Please take care, and pass my love on to everyone else.
Love,
Syster Hillar Kiser
P.S. Don't forget to pray.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Re: Hello!
Hi, Momma.
Some weird things are going on here, so... Well... I'll just explain.
We got a call from our mission president last Tuesday. He told us that we needed to pack our things and move to Uppsala on Thursday. We weren't supposed to have a transfer for 10 more weeks, so we were completely caught off guard and went a little crazy getting everything packed and updating all the records for the elders who'd be taking over Sundsvall. So anyway, I'm now in Uppsala (about an hour from Stockholm). I'm still with Syster Maxwell, and we're now in a trio companionship with my MTC companion Syster Dabb. (This happened because Syster Dabb's companion was on a slightly different schedule from the rest of us for some reason, so her time to go home came up in the middle of the transfer. I'm not really sure how it works.) I'm really happy to be back with Syster Dabb, by the way. So to answer your question about the car, I won't be getting it back. ;-) Sundsvall's the only area with a car that sisters can go to, so I'll be on foot and bikes and buses for the rest of my mission. On the whole, I'm pretty happy about the move. As I said in my last letter (funnily enough), I think I needed to get out of my greenie area. We have about 3 brand new investigators (meaning we met them THIS WEEK) who want to get baptized already, so we're pretty excited. The downside to this is that our chapel here doesn't have computers, so we have to use the ones in the public library. I once again have a one hour time limit in which to write my emails to you, Dad, and my mission president. Grah!
I honestly don't know what Casey thought about suicide. I don't know if he understood it as a serious sin or not. But I am positive that he was not thinking clearly at the time he did it, and I absolutely do believe that Heavenly Father will be merciful to him. Remember - God's justice isn't like man's justice. Man's justice is usually just vengeance. God's justice requires no less OR MORE than the natural consequences of our choices. For Casey, the natural consequence is that his time on earth is over. It may be harder for him to make some changes now that he doesn't have a body, but the Atonement still applies to him just as much as it ever did, and it always will. I realized something about judgement and the kingdoms we inherit as we were teaching our 'eternal investigator' couple a few weeks ago. There's really nothing more we can do for these two because they choose not to step any further forward. The Celestial Kingdom is a place designed for eternal progression. It is open to all people who choose to move forward. We decide to go to one of the lower kingdoms when we decide to stop learning and growing. Heavenly Father will never block us from moving forward. It's what He wants too. It really is all about enduring to the end - and choosing not to let there be an end.
My time's up. I love you, and I miss you. Take care.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
P.S. You can tell Nate that he's no worse of a driver that any other Utahn I've met. Any my companion was driving. My record's still clean. ;-)
Some weird things are going on here, so... Well... I'll just explain.
We got a call from our mission president last Tuesday. He told us that we needed to pack our things and move to Uppsala on Thursday. We weren't supposed to have a transfer for 10 more weeks, so we were completely caught off guard and went a little crazy getting everything packed and updating all the records for the elders who'd be taking over Sundsvall. So anyway, I'm now in Uppsala (about an hour from Stockholm). I'm still with Syster Maxwell, and we're now in a trio companionship with my MTC companion Syster Dabb. (This happened because Syster Dabb's companion was on a slightly different schedule from the rest of us for some reason, so her time to go home came up in the middle of the transfer. I'm not really sure how it works.) I'm really happy to be back with Syster Dabb, by the way. So to answer your question about the car, I won't be getting it back. ;-) Sundsvall's the only area with a car that sisters can go to, so I'll be on foot and bikes and buses for the rest of my mission. On the whole, I'm pretty happy about the move. As I said in my last letter (funnily enough), I think I needed to get out of my greenie area. We have about 3 brand new investigators (meaning we met them THIS WEEK) who want to get baptized already, so we're pretty excited. The downside to this is that our chapel here doesn't have computers, so we have to use the ones in the public library. I once again have a one hour time limit in which to write my emails to you, Dad, and my mission president. Grah!
I honestly don't know what Casey thought about suicide. I don't know if he understood it as a serious sin or not. But I am positive that he was not thinking clearly at the time he did it, and I absolutely do believe that Heavenly Father will be merciful to him. Remember - God's justice isn't like man's justice. Man's justice is usually just vengeance. God's justice requires no less OR MORE than the natural consequences of our choices. For Casey, the natural consequence is that his time on earth is over. It may be harder for him to make some changes now that he doesn't have a body, but the Atonement still applies to him just as much as it ever did, and it always will. I realized something about judgement and the kingdoms we inherit as we were teaching our 'eternal investigator' couple a few weeks ago. There's really nothing more we can do for these two because they choose not to step any further forward. The Celestial Kingdom is a place designed for eternal progression. It is open to all people who choose to move forward. We decide to go to one of the lower kingdoms when we decide to stop learning and growing. Heavenly Father will never block us from moving forward. It's what He wants too. It really is all about enduring to the end - and choosing not to let there be an end.
My time's up. I love you, and I miss you. Take care.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
P.S. You can tell Nate that he's no worse of a driver that any other Utahn I've met. Any my companion was driving. My record's still clean. ;-)
Re: back to work
Hi, Momma.
To answer your questions first:
No, in fact both of our dryers are broken now, so it all gets hung up to dry inside our apartment.
Things are fine with my companion. Anyone can find something to get cranky about when they spend every minute of every day, sleeping and awake, together. We really are doing fine.
The teaching's going well. We're finding a lot of new people to start teaching right now, so it's a lot of trial and error. We had EIGHT investigators in church yesterday, which is unheard of. Typically we feel accomplished if we get one to show up.
Yes, I'd love to have one of Casey's programs and a wrist band.
Driving the stick shift... is no longer relevant. We crashed the car on Saturday. No worries. I'm not hurt, and neither is my companion. (We're actually the second companionship since November to trash a car and walk away totally unscratched. The Lord really does watch over and protect His missionaries.) We fell asleep on a long drive and ran into the guard rail, and then bounced across the lane to hit the other guard rail, and then repeated until all four corners were smashed. Now she only drives straight if we hold the wheel at a 45 degree angle, and her back tires make an awful groaning noise. So we're walking and taking the bus for a while. It's probably for the best. I've started gaining weight because every time we get fed, the members think my plate needs to be refilled about 4 times and insist I eat every bite of it. The walking might help take care of that.
I'd love to have a few of Casey's shirts and his books. Thanks for thinking of that. I'd also love to read the books you're reading once I get home. "As The Father Hath Loved Us" sounds really good. I really want to read "The Miracle of Forgiveness," but it seems that missionaries are actually DIScouraged from reading that until after they've gone home. Oh, well.
Tell Keira that I fought Casey for possession of my old room every time I came home to visit, and I'll fight her for it too if she thinks she's going to take it over now. Casey's a lot bigger than me, and I won every time. I think I can take her. ;-)
If you think you're going to give up and let Rich do all the parenting from now on, Keira really will have problems later on. You didn't fail as a parent with any of us (including Casey), and you're not going to fail with Keira. Keira actually has a much better chance of turning out right than any of the rest of us because you and Rich are united when it comes to church, having a family, and raising her. You and Dad didn't have any of that working for you at all. Chynna's going to figure things out. Maybe you remember, I traded my family for my friends for a long time too. I outgrew that, and she will too, sooner or later. Be patient. Keep loving her.
Doing the temple work together when we get home will be great. Do you think we could find a way to do it in Utah? I'd love for you and everyone else to get to see the inside of the Salt Lake Temple some day. I wanted to take Jeremiah there back in July, but we just didn't have time. It's crazy that Jeremiah's a District Leader now. His mission really seems to be flying by. Mine seems very slow, due to the longer transfers (5 weeks down, 10 more to go for this transfer). I realize that I only have about a year left, but it seems like I'm still at the beginning since we can't get past this second transfer, and I'm still in my greenie area.
Did you know that Uncle Richard served his mission in Sweden? Cause I didn't. If I'd heard it, I didn't remember. He just sent me a letter saying he was a greenie in Sundsvall too, and that Grandma Evelyn had ancestors in Sweden. I didn't know that either. Funnily enough, he mentioned some members that I do know here - Hakan Stegeby just helped us get our poor car back to town yesterday. Could you pick his brain for me and send me more information? I honestly had no idea I had legitimate relations here. For months I've been telling everyone that I'm not Swedish at all, and that God's sense of humor is the only reason for me being sent up here. ;-)
I wish I could say more, but we've got a lot to do, and it's going to take a lot longer to get it done without the car, so I need to finish here. I love you so much, Momma. Take care, and please try to be happy. You pray for me, I'll pray for you, and Heavenly Father will take care of both of us.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
P.S. Did Unlce Richard go by Elder Smith or Elder Lambert back then? I didn't realize he doesn't go by Lambert until I got his letter; it actually took me a minute to figure our who Richard Smith was.
To answer your questions first:
No, in fact both of our dryers are broken now, so it all gets hung up to dry inside our apartment.
Things are fine with my companion. Anyone can find something to get cranky about when they spend every minute of every day, sleeping and awake, together. We really are doing fine.
The teaching's going well. We're finding a lot of new people to start teaching right now, so it's a lot of trial and error. We had EIGHT investigators in church yesterday, which is unheard of. Typically we feel accomplished if we get one to show up.
Yes, I'd love to have one of Casey's programs and a wrist band.
Driving the stick shift... is no longer relevant. We crashed the car on Saturday. No worries. I'm not hurt, and neither is my companion. (We're actually the second companionship since November to trash a car and walk away totally unscratched. The Lord really does watch over and protect His missionaries.) We fell asleep on a long drive and ran into the guard rail, and then bounced across the lane to hit the other guard rail, and then repeated until all four corners were smashed. Now she only drives straight if we hold the wheel at a 45 degree angle, and her back tires make an awful groaning noise. So we're walking and taking the bus for a while. It's probably for the best. I've started gaining weight because every time we get fed, the members think my plate needs to be refilled about 4 times and insist I eat every bite of it. The walking might help take care of that.
I'd love to have a few of Casey's shirts and his books. Thanks for thinking of that. I'd also love to read the books you're reading once I get home. "As The Father Hath Loved Us" sounds really good. I really want to read "The Miracle of Forgiveness," but it seems that missionaries are actually DIScouraged from reading that until after they've gone home. Oh, well.
Tell Keira that I fought Casey for possession of my old room every time I came home to visit, and I'll fight her for it too if she thinks she's going to take it over now. Casey's a lot bigger than me, and I won every time. I think I can take her. ;-)
If you think you're going to give up and let Rich do all the parenting from now on, Keira really will have problems later on. You didn't fail as a parent with any of us (including Casey), and you're not going to fail with Keira. Keira actually has a much better chance of turning out right than any of the rest of us because you and Rich are united when it comes to church, having a family, and raising her. You and Dad didn't have any of that working for you at all. Chynna's going to figure things out. Maybe you remember, I traded my family for my friends for a long time too. I outgrew that, and she will too, sooner or later. Be patient. Keep loving her.
Doing the temple work together when we get home will be great. Do you think we could find a way to do it in Utah? I'd love for you and everyone else to get to see the inside of the Salt Lake Temple some day. I wanted to take Jeremiah there back in July, but we just didn't have time. It's crazy that Jeremiah's a District Leader now. His mission really seems to be flying by. Mine seems very slow, due to the longer transfers (5 weeks down, 10 more to go for this transfer). I realize that I only have about a year left, but it seems like I'm still at the beginning since we can't get past this second transfer, and I'm still in my greenie area.
Did you know that Uncle Richard served his mission in Sweden? Cause I didn't. If I'd heard it, I didn't remember. He just sent me a letter saying he was a greenie in Sundsvall too, and that Grandma Evelyn had ancestors in Sweden. I didn't know that either. Funnily enough, he mentioned some members that I do know here - Hakan Stegeby just helped us get our poor car back to town yesterday. Could you pick his brain for me and send me more information? I honestly had no idea I had legitimate relations here. For months I've been telling everyone that I'm not Swedish at all, and that God's sense of humor is the only reason for me being sent up here. ;-)
I wish I could say more, but we've got a lot to do, and it's going to take a lot longer to get it done without the car, so I need to finish here. I love you so much, Momma. Take care, and please try to be happy. You pray for me, I'll pray for you, and Heavenly Father will take care of both of us.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
P.S. Did Unlce Richard go by Elder Smith or Elder Lambert back then? I didn't realize he doesn't go by Lambert until I got his letter; it actually took me a minute to figure our who Richard Smith was.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Re: new year
Dear Momma,
Happy New Year!
I'm glad you've been able to go to the temple. I know it's rough. I was allowed to go the same day I found out about Casey. I felt the same way you did when I went through - like lead. It seemed like just raising a hand or saying a word was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. And I bawled too. It's okay. I think the temple workers understand - people go there with their biggest problems all the time. It's hard and humbling sometimes, but I do believe that the temple is the best place to just lay our heartaches and our worries at the Lord's feet. Keep going. Going to the temple is your time to hand your broken heart over to the Lord and let him heal it. You'll be surprised at what the Lord can do with a broken heart. He tells us over and over again in the scriptures to offer Him our broken hearts. There's a good reason for that.
Yes, I did get the pictures from Dad and Aunt Rhonda. They're great. Dad has some good pictures of Casey. Do you have them? Here are some extra copies of my pictures too.
As for Ian's mission call - either call Uncle Dale and Aunt Bonnie yourself, or have MomMom do it. Tell them from me that God is sending Ian exactly where He wants him to go. There is nothing in Mexico or anywhere else that's bigger, tougher, or stronger than God, and He loves His missionaries, so Ian's going to be just fine. Ian's going to love it. Tell them to repent and stop standing in the way of the Lord's work before they get rolled over by it.
I think the Christmas tree has been put to great use. Whose ideas were these things? What do you have in mind for the ornaments you're going to make from it? I'm getting a few, right?
I did tell PawPaw to just hold on to the money until I come home. It'll be safer then than carrying it around in my wallet for a year. Thank Woodrow, Dusty, and DadDad for helping with the money too. I really appreciate that.
I keep thinking about Dusty a lot. I told my companion about how special Casey is to Dusty. Dusty got to help deliver him. Dusty got to name him. Dusty baptized him. She pointed out to me that that kind of big brother relationship is probably very similar to the way Christ has always been to us. He was the firstborn of the Father. He was there to see each of us come into being, and watched and led and taught while we learned there before coming here. I think she's right. I know you worry about Dusty, and pray for him to come back to church. I do too. Why not invite him to come to church with you the next time he's in town? Maybe an invitation is all he needs. He might not realize that he's missed.
I think LaJusta's mom must be a very smart woman. We do need the support of our loved ones to move forward, regardless of which side of the veil we or they happen to be on. Some days it's seemed to me like I've had to really exercise my faith NOT to just think about Casey all the time. Of course we can't forget him. Never. But moving forward doesn't mean moving away from him. Casey isn't stuck in the past. He's still close by. And he's part of our future. Moving forward means moving closer to him, and to our Heavenly Father. It takes faith to start smiling and laughing again. We show the Lord our faith in His plan and in His power to heal by enjoying our lives - allowing Him and other things to bring us joy again.
Smile. Laugh. Have the faith to love this life.
I love you.
Syster Hillary Kiser
Happy New Year!
I'm glad you've been able to go to the temple. I know it's rough. I was allowed to go the same day I found out about Casey. I felt the same way you did when I went through - like lead. It seemed like just raising a hand or saying a word was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. And I bawled too. It's okay. I think the temple workers understand - people go there with their biggest problems all the time. It's hard and humbling sometimes, but I do believe that the temple is the best place to just lay our heartaches and our worries at the Lord's feet. Keep going. Going to the temple is your time to hand your broken heart over to the Lord and let him heal it. You'll be surprised at what the Lord can do with a broken heart. He tells us over and over again in the scriptures to offer Him our broken hearts. There's a good reason for that.
Yes, I did get the pictures from Dad and Aunt Rhonda. They're great. Dad has some good pictures of Casey. Do you have them? Here are some extra copies of my pictures too.
As for Ian's mission call - either call Uncle Dale and Aunt Bonnie yourself, or have MomMom do it. Tell them from me that God is sending Ian exactly where He wants him to go. There is nothing in Mexico or anywhere else that's bigger, tougher, or stronger than God, and He loves His missionaries, so Ian's going to be just fine. Ian's going to love it. Tell them to repent and stop standing in the way of the Lord's work before they get rolled over by it.
I think the Christmas tree has been put to great use. Whose ideas were these things? What do you have in mind for the ornaments you're going to make from it? I'm getting a few, right?
I did tell PawPaw to just hold on to the money until I come home. It'll be safer then than carrying it around in my wallet for a year. Thank Woodrow, Dusty, and DadDad for helping with the money too. I really appreciate that.
I keep thinking about Dusty a lot. I told my companion about how special Casey is to Dusty. Dusty got to help deliver him. Dusty got to name him. Dusty baptized him. She pointed out to me that that kind of big brother relationship is probably very similar to the way Christ has always been to us. He was the firstborn of the Father. He was there to see each of us come into being, and watched and led and taught while we learned there before coming here. I think she's right. I know you worry about Dusty, and pray for him to come back to church. I do too. Why not invite him to come to church with you the next time he's in town? Maybe an invitation is all he needs. He might not realize that he's missed.
I think LaJusta's mom must be a very smart woman. We do need the support of our loved ones to move forward, regardless of which side of the veil we or they happen to be on. Some days it's seemed to me like I've had to really exercise my faith NOT to just think about Casey all the time. Of course we can't forget him. Never. But moving forward doesn't mean moving away from him. Casey isn't stuck in the past. He's still close by. And he's part of our future. Moving forward means moving closer to him, and to our Heavenly Father. It takes faith to start smiling and laughing again. We show the Lord our faith in His plan and in His power to heal by enjoying our lives - allowing Him and other things to bring us joy again.
Smile. Laugh. Have the faith to love this life.
I love you.
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: Mom
Dear Momma,
It's been one of those mornings where everything breaks and nothing works right. I've got this darn cold, both of our dryers are broken so the laundry's all over the place, our car keeps getting stuck in the snow, and my companion and I just don't get along. You're absolutely right - life just keeps coming no matter what. I want to sound cheerful and uplifting, but honestly I'm just feeling cranky. I guess I need to get over it. Feeling grouchy doesn't really make anything better. It just makes the good stuff go sour too.
Maybe it would be best just to count some blessings right now.
I'm grateful that it's snowing. When it's snow, the temperature goes up, so it's +20 now instead of -20 like it was 3 days ago. (That's in Fahrenheit.)
I'm grateful for the wonderful gifts I've been given by my friends and family back home and here. I've received scarves, hats, gloves, sweaters, chocolate, and so many other nice things to keep me warm on the inside as well as out.
I'm grateful that I had 16 years with a sweet, funny, beautiful brother like Casey.
I'm grateful that I have Heavenly Father's promise that he'll be my brother forever.
I'm grateful for kind people who feed missionaries - even when they feed us fish.
I'm grateful for the care I get to use. It may be pitifully weak in the snow, but at least the seats are heated.
I'm grateful for the gift of tongues.
I'm grateful for a sweet friend like Nate who cares enough to reach out to comfort my family, even though he's never met them.
I'm grateful for Christ's mercy, which can free us from the weight of justice.
I'm grateful for God's justice, which is much kinder and fairer than man's justice.
I'm grateful for my companion's desire to do the Lord's work well.
I'm grateful for Christmas cards.
I'm grateful for clear, starry skies.
I'm grateful for parents who've supported me in all my endeavors, no matter what they've been; who work hard and make it possible for me to do this work now.
I'm grateful for friends and leaders and teachers who helped me find my own testimony of the gospel.
I'm grateful for repentance.
I'm grateful for sunshine.
I'm grateful for music.
I'm grateful for 22 beautiful, tediously-prepared birthday cakes from my dear Mom-Mom.
I'm grateful for thousands of loads of laundry hauled and hung and folded, and probably millions of dishes washed by the worlds most patient, hard-working mom.
I'm grateful for running water (we went without it for a little last Saturday).
I'm grateful for temples, and the peace and promises we receive from Heavenly Father in them.
I'm grateful for telephones and computers and the postal system, which all help me stay close to the people I love while we're far away.
I'm grateful that sometimes God doesn't listen to my requests and gives me something much better instead.
I'm not feeling so cranky anymore. But it is a little embarrassing, sitting here, trying not to cry in front of my companion. Such is the life of a missionary.
We have so much to be thankful for, Momma. Counting the blessings may be a good way for you to use this spare time that's eating you up right now. Write them down. As many as u can think of. It was hard at first for me to think of something to appreciate, but now it's hard to stop. And I do feel much better.
I love you, Momma. So much.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
It's been one of those mornings where everything breaks and nothing works right. I've got this darn cold, both of our dryers are broken so the laundry's all over the place, our car keeps getting stuck in the snow, and my companion and I just don't get along. You're absolutely right - life just keeps coming no matter what. I want to sound cheerful and uplifting, but honestly I'm just feeling cranky. I guess I need to get over it. Feeling grouchy doesn't really make anything better. It just makes the good stuff go sour too.
Maybe it would be best just to count some blessings right now.
I'm grateful that it's snowing. When it's snow, the temperature goes up, so it's +20 now instead of -20 like it was 3 days ago. (That's in Fahrenheit.)
I'm grateful for the wonderful gifts I've been given by my friends and family back home and here. I've received scarves, hats, gloves, sweaters, chocolate, and so many other nice things to keep me warm on the inside as well as out.
I'm grateful that I had 16 years with a sweet, funny, beautiful brother like Casey.
I'm grateful that I have Heavenly Father's promise that he'll be my brother forever.
I'm grateful for kind people who feed missionaries - even when they feed us fish.
I'm grateful for the care I get to use. It may be pitifully weak in the snow, but at least the seats are heated.
I'm grateful for the gift of tongues.
I'm grateful for a sweet friend like Nate who cares enough to reach out to comfort my family, even though he's never met them.
I'm grateful for Christ's mercy, which can free us from the weight of justice.
I'm grateful for God's justice, which is much kinder and fairer than man's justice.
I'm grateful for my companion's desire to do the Lord's work well.
I'm grateful for Christmas cards.
I'm grateful for clear, starry skies.
I'm grateful for parents who've supported me in all my endeavors, no matter what they've been; who work hard and make it possible for me to do this work now.
I'm grateful for friends and leaders and teachers who helped me find my own testimony of the gospel.
I'm grateful for repentance.
I'm grateful for sunshine.
I'm grateful for music.
I'm grateful for 22 beautiful, tediously-prepared birthday cakes from my dear Mom-Mom.
I'm grateful for thousands of loads of laundry hauled and hung and folded, and probably millions of dishes washed by the worlds most patient, hard-working mom.
I'm grateful for running water (we went without it for a little last Saturday).
I'm grateful for temples, and the peace and promises we receive from Heavenly Father in them.
I'm grateful for telephones and computers and the postal system, which all help me stay close to the people I love while we're far away.
I'm grateful that sometimes God doesn't listen to my requests and gives me something much better instead.
I'm not feeling so cranky anymore. But it is a little embarrassing, sitting here, trying not to cry in front of my companion. Such is the life of a missionary.
We have so much to be thankful for, Momma. Counting the blessings may be a good way for you to use this spare time that's eating you up right now. Write them down. As many as u can think of. It was hard at first for me to think of something to appreciate, but now it's hard to stop. And I do feel much better.
I love you, Momma. So much.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
(No Subject)
Dear Family,
It seems that every year, I get asked what I want for Christmas. And every year, I struggle to come up with an answer. I know there were things I had wanted at one point or another throughout the year, but I can scarcely remember them once the time comes. It does no good to say 'I don't really want anything' because I know Mom's just going to spend the money and spoil me anyway. Even this year, halfway around the world with only two suitcases to live out of, I've been spoiled with three boxes filled with gifts (which I am grateful for, and can hardly wait to open, even though I'm not sure yet how I'll move it all around once I'm transferred ;-)) You've always been wonderful, far better than I am, at giving wonderful gifts.
I finally know what I really want for Christmas. And it doesn't weigh anything or take up any space, so it'll be perfect for me to carry around for the next year. I want our family to turn off the television and read the Christmas story in Luke Chapter 2 together. I want us to contemplate the significance of Christ's birth for us personally. I want us all to listen to and read what our prophet and apostles today have to say about the life of Jesus Christ. I want us to search for a greater understanding of the mission He cam here to fulfill. This season is a time when we declare that there are glad tidings of great joy and that there is peace on Earth. Understanding and applying the gospel of Jesus Christ is what brings true peace. It's the reason for all our hope. It brings true joy in this time on earth, and through the veil into eternity. What I want for Christmas is for our family to feel that peace, to know what reason we have to feel hope. This Christmas, I want our family to come unto Christ.
As a close second to this, I want our family to come together. Last week, when I asked Teresa how everyone was holding up through those first difficult days, she said, "We do pretty well when everyone's together." We're so much stronger and have so much more to be glad for when we're together. I want us all to forget about ourselves and show our love for each other. Put away the pride and say, 'I love you'. Hold back the teasing and the sarcasm. Show gratitude for each other through hugs and 'thank you's, compliments, and little acts of kindness. Think more about the person who gave you the gifts than the gifts themselves, and show your appreciation for them. Leave that darn TV off. Cook and play and work and talk and do things together, rather than next to each other. This Christmas, I want our family to truly love each other.
I'll miss you this Christmas, but I'm grateful for the opportunity the Lord's given me to do this work because I know it blesses our family. I'm grateful for the lessons taught and the gifts, the games, the differences, the countless meals prepared and shared, the laughs, the stories, the hugs and kisses, the advice, the clothes, the skills learned, songs, fights, cakes, little successes, walks, work, crafts, and thousands of other priceless memories. I'm especially grateful that we've been given the chance to appreciate these things all over again. Casey had given us a beautiful gift - a reason to change our hearts and refocus our lives on the things that truly matter most. Let's show our appreciation for this chance we've been given and use it well.
I love you all so much. I hope for, and do believe that this can be, the greatest, most special and loving Christmas we've ever had. This is my prayer and my Christmas list.
Merry Christmas!
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
It seems that every year, I get asked what I want for Christmas. And every year, I struggle to come up with an answer. I know there were things I had wanted at one point or another throughout the year, but I can scarcely remember them once the time comes. It does no good to say 'I don't really want anything' because I know Mom's just going to spend the money and spoil me anyway. Even this year, halfway around the world with only two suitcases to live out of, I've been spoiled with three boxes filled with gifts (which I am grateful for, and can hardly wait to open, even though I'm not sure yet how I'll move it all around once I'm transferred ;-)) You've always been wonderful, far better than I am, at giving wonderful gifts.
I finally know what I really want for Christmas. And it doesn't weigh anything or take up any space, so it'll be perfect for me to carry around for the next year. I want our family to turn off the television and read the Christmas story in Luke Chapter 2 together. I want us to contemplate the significance of Christ's birth for us personally. I want us all to listen to and read what our prophet and apostles today have to say about the life of Jesus Christ. I want us to search for a greater understanding of the mission He cam here to fulfill. This season is a time when we declare that there are glad tidings of great joy and that there is peace on Earth. Understanding and applying the gospel of Jesus Christ is what brings true peace. It's the reason for all our hope. It brings true joy in this time on earth, and through the veil into eternity. What I want for Christmas is for our family to feel that peace, to know what reason we have to feel hope. This Christmas, I want our family to come unto Christ.
As a close second to this, I want our family to come together. Last week, when I asked Teresa how everyone was holding up through those first difficult days, she said, "We do pretty well when everyone's together." We're so much stronger and have so much more to be glad for when we're together. I want us all to forget about ourselves and show our love for each other. Put away the pride and say, 'I love you'. Hold back the teasing and the sarcasm. Show gratitude for each other through hugs and 'thank you's, compliments, and little acts of kindness. Think more about the person who gave you the gifts than the gifts themselves, and show your appreciation for them. Leave that darn TV off. Cook and play and work and talk and do things together, rather than next to each other. This Christmas, I want our family to truly love each other.
I'll miss you this Christmas, but I'm grateful for the opportunity the Lord's given me to do this work because I know it blesses our family. I'm grateful for the lessons taught and the gifts, the games, the differences, the countless meals prepared and shared, the laughs, the stories, the hugs and kisses, the advice, the clothes, the skills learned, songs, fights, cakes, little successes, walks, work, crafts, and thousands of other priceless memories. I'm especially grateful that we've been given the chance to appreciate these things all over again. Casey had given us a beautiful gift - a reason to change our hearts and refocus our lives on the things that truly matter most. Let's show our appreciation for this chance we've been given and use it well.
I love you all so much. I hope for, and do believe that this can be, the greatest, most special and loving Christmas we've ever had. This is my prayer and my Christmas list.
Merry Christmas!
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
Re: so much love
Dear Momma,
I know exactly what you mean about being angry. I don't care about vengeance or punishment. Those things are up to God, and if we take them into our own hands, then justice is served and God does no more. But I want that manipulative little Vanscoy girl to understand what her stupid lie has done. I doubt she knows that her lie is what caused Casey's death. She should be told. She should see his letter and the police photos so she can really see the consequences of her actions.
I am glad I got to talk with you and everyone else so much. Talking on the phone has been the best part of this week by far. It's when I've felt the calmest. Getting out of our apartment and being around other people helps too. I have less time to think that way. My poor companion's trying her best to keep up the good work and have some semblance of normalcy while my moods are just swinging all over the place. I can tell she has no idea what to do with me. I don't either, really.
I've been researching conference talks on death and the atonement. And I've got a few other things that have helped me too. I'm sending copies of it all to you. Share with Dad. It's a lot of paper, so I'm only sending it once. The talks can all be found on the church website, and I'd love to have them posted on my blog.
I think it would be great if everyone in the family could write down as many memories of Casey as we can think of. It would be wonderful to put them in a book. I'm writing mine down, and I'll send them.
We're all going to make it through this together. It seems impossible, but the Lord does have the power to heal even this. Casey's given us a beautiful gift - the chance to all come closer together and to the Lord, maybe in a way that nothing else ever could.
I love you so much, Momma. Please pass on my love to the rest of the family too.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
I know exactly what you mean about being angry. I don't care about vengeance or punishment. Those things are up to God, and if we take them into our own hands, then justice is served and God does no more. But I want that manipulative little Vanscoy girl to understand what her stupid lie has done. I doubt she knows that her lie is what caused Casey's death. She should be told. She should see his letter and the police photos so she can really see the consequences of her actions.
I am glad I got to talk with you and everyone else so much. Talking on the phone has been the best part of this week by far. It's when I've felt the calmest. Getting out of our apartment and being around other people helps too. I have less time to think that way. My poor companion's trying her best to keep up the good work and have some semblance of normalcy while my moods are just swinging all over the place. I can tell she has no idea what to do with me. I don't either, really.
I've been researching conference talks on death and the atonement. And I've got a few other things that have helped me too. I'm sending copies of it all to you. Share with Dad. It's a lot of paper, so I'm only sending it once. The talks can all be found on the church website, and I'd love to have them posted on my blog.
I think it would be great if everyone in the family could write down as many memories of Casey as we can think of. It would be wonderful to put them in a book. I'm writing mine down, and I'll send them.
We're all going to make it through this together. It seems impossible, but the Lord does have the power to heal even this. Casey's given us a beautiful gift - the chance to all come closer together and to the Lord, maybe in a way that nothing else ever could.
I love you so much, Momma. Please pass on my love to the rest of the family too.
Love,
Syster Hillary Kiser
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